World Cup goods can damage your health

Nooooooo, Mr President. That unauthorised soccer ball lion thingee from the world cup could potentially kill you. In some shocking news some non fifa approved merchandise may actually kill you!!!!! Now if this isn't the most blatant attempt in the history of blatant attempts to ensure that people only buy 'legitimate' merchandise. I dunno what is. The very article is so humorous yet so poor that it fills me with immense rage. I'm now going to buy as much legitimate merchandise as I can, find all the faults, injure myself and then sue the manufacturers and the world cup just to get back at them. I'll make millions, plus I'm guaranteed to get tickets to the final, right?

Thanks Mike