Australia v Uruguay

I try to keep this blog as free from my own pathetic thoughts and opinions as possible, to enable my reading audience to better underestimate the power of the internets in their own homes. So if you don't want to read a lot of my own opinion and editorial then stop reading now and look at these Soccer Bloopers. If you chose to read on then this video accurately portrays Australia's level of skill in soccer over the last 30 years. It has been one calamity after another with some excellent teams falling at such memorable hurdles as New Zealand, Iran and a drunken posse of hobos. So why must this year be different? Why must Straya step up to the plate and take one last swipe at world cup qualification? Because if they don't succeed this year then we will enter a wilderness of another 30 years of boredom.

Basically in my humble opinion without qualification for next year's world cup Australian soccer will undergo the following tradgedies:

1. The A-league will fail. This will be largely due to the fact that fans are so dissatisfied with soccer that they will stop attending the games. This would leave the league without any income and a bunch of retired English and Japanese players whose only goal is to get drunk.

2. Australia's top players will soon retire. Although this may not seem like a bad thing for many people there is no one left to take over the reigns. We have very few up and coming players of any note and our U23 and U17 sides have performed poorly over the last few years.

3. Les Murray will retire. He will become so frustrated with Australia's lack of skill and the loss of his sidekick Johnny Warren that he will retire to Spain and live the life of a bandido.

4. There will be rioting on the streets of Sydney. This will mainly be caused by me, who will go crazy with power and rage and use my collection of boat flares to set fire to the olympic stadium.

All of these factors will lead to the demise of the game in this country where it will be replaced by underwater hockey and competitive croquet. So come on Straya, do it for the little guys who want to see the beautiful game actually take off in this country. The Uruguayans have played every mind trick in the book to convince the Socceroos that they can't do it. Well ignore the crap and take this game by the balls and show that we can actually compete on the international stage in a manner befitting the greatest sporting nation on earth.

GO STRAYA!!!!!!!

Update! My photos of Australia v Uruguay are now available for perusement.