Megapixel madness

Head on down to your local Seitz warehouse because they've gone crazy!!! Suck of SLRs with only 10 megapixels? Tired of point and shoot cameras with only a feeble 6, well your time has come. Enter the 160 megapixel camera. Of course you can hold it in your hands and take happy snaps of that Bolivian rainforest you've got growing in your backyard but the price of around 29,000 euros may be too much for the average consumer. Nah, in a couple of years these things will be a dime a dozen down at your local trash mart so don't buy one now fools.

Airport Security game

Sure you need flash but this little game is actually mildly interesting. The aim is to check people at airport security for prohibited itmes. As with any real airport the list of banned items is constantly changing making it damned difficult to remember exactly what is going on. So go ahead take people's shirts and their dignity and you soon will be king of Airport Security! It actually gets pretty difficult ferrying people through at a reasonable speed so you've got to be hemped up on goof balls to see it all working at its best.

Water fun!

As summer slowly ventures upon us it becomes time to once again consider the variety of water sport activities that must be undertaken before consuming copious amounts of beer. Chief amongst these must clearly be rock climbing slippery slides. This fun action involves scaling a veritable fortress covered in slippery water (actually its about 14 feet high) and then sliding down one side. I'm so ordering one of these for that kiddie pool I've got stashed away somewhere.

Flashbeer

Aaah beer ads, once again you add some amusement to an otherwise dull and boring day. I'm sure you all remember the big add, well now there is Flashbeer once again promoting that fine, fine beverage, Carlton Draught. So fire up those 1400 baud modems and see how many months it takes you to download this sucker.

Viper-powered Tomahawk

In the world of insane superbikes nothing has ever come close to this Viper-powered Tomahawk. Now you might also actually have a chance to own one of these suckers as they are actually going to make a limited run. Sure it might set you back about $250k, and your first born son but you get the benefits of owning 500hp V10 bike. I don't think its going to handle that well, and you could probably build one yourself for way less but if you are all cashed up, then this is the way to go.

Asahi beer bot

Oh yes, there is a god and he is in fact this fine Asahi beer bot. Now you no longer have to pour your own beer or pay some surly bar staff to do it for you. Instead, why not get the beer bot to pour it for you. Sure its a little slow and makes weird clunking noises throught, but dammit, its a robot and its pouring a beer. What more could you possibly want? Well sure a million billion dollars but that ain't going to happen anytime soon is it?

Bionic Woman

For all those people out there who dream of being the $6 Million Man, well now you can. Well at least thisbionic woman can. With a super extendo arm with the power to crush cars in her fingers she will soon be the greatest asset to my ever growing army of the damned that I've ever seen. I've had enough of monkeys that have to be genetically engineered, there's way too much work in that. Humans are much more suggestable and can easily be controlled through the power of the mind alone.

Ball boy scores goooooooaaaal

Sometimes the world is just out to provide you with amusement, other times its just out to punch you in the face with a sweet sledgehammer travelling at 800m/s. In this case I guess it depends which side you were on, but in one of the most bizarre decisions ever taken by a ref a goal is awarded after a ball boy slips a ball into the net. Now I dunno about you, but I'd generally say that as ball boys aren't players they really can't score goals but this wacky ref obviously thought differently.

Worlds worst hacker!

Alright all you 1337 h@x0rz out there. Here is what you must aspire to. Here is the single greatest piece of hacking prowess that the world has ever seen. Actually if you aren't 1337 enought it might not even make sense, but anyway go have a look at the worlds worst hacker and see the wonderful adventures that have befallen him.

The Ultimate Blog Post

I dunno if this really is the The Ultimate Blog Post and in fact it may never even have existed as a blogpost at all without the help of all these other blogs. Plus as an added bonus its been around for like a week now and I've missed it as I've been way too interested in the secret life of moles that live under my Monaro. So anyway if you really care about blogs and read a million billion of them a day then this is the post for you. If you don't then go and get stuffed, and why the hell are you reading a blog anyway?

The iPod Toilet Paper Holder

Yes, generally I think iPods should spend as much time as possible in the toilet. Not because they are bad products, but because of all the hype that has been generated over something that has less features than its major competitors, costs more, and comes with el cr@po software for managing your music. Don't even get me started on the whole iTunes DRM cr@p because your ears would end up bleeding and I would eventually be forced to kill a few record company execs over some of the dumbest decisions in the history of the universe. But enough about me how 'bout this nifty iPod toilet paper holder than enables you to play music/charge your iPod while on the can. Sure it doesn't have the best sound quality but are you ever going to get good sound in the smallest most echo prone room at home, probably not. So click onwards if you just can't drop the kids off at the pool without grooving along to Chef's rendition of chocolate salty balls.

Bacteria powered motors

Now this is just plain cool. Rather than burning up electricity or fuel or something other direct source of power these tiny motors are powered by bacteria! Think of the possibilities, besides cool nanobots that could be used to customise your body these things could eventually perhaps be used to power transport and all other kinds of stuff. But then, the microbots would become sentinent and demand equal pay for equal work and soon you'd be pushing them around in some kind of solid gold car. Aaah, then the cycle of life would truly be complete.

Nah, in fact I choose to think of them as tiny, tiny horses that we can control by using grooves filled with special sticking molecules that the bacteria move across. Its a damned nifty technique that makes me wonder why I didn't patent it years ago.

Paris' raunchy new album

Like every other person in the whole world as soon as I heard there was a Paris Hilton album I ran out and purchased as many copies as I could afford. Admittedly that meant I only bought one copy that I promptly burned in a fit of rage but it was still the greatest day of my life. Well maybe, that day where I found a penny and went for a ride on that airship that then exploded, the Hindenberg or something was pretty good too. Enough of my own pathetic ramblings, some goon has decided that rather than just burn Paris' album he would play a cunning prank where a number of Paris albums were replaced with Fake Album Covers. Sure its a pretty neat prank and deserves some kind of award. Like those awards they give out for the hotdog eating competitions, something foody. Excellent.

Solid gold diamond tv

A few months ago we had the solid gold rocket tv. Well now enter the magical world of the solid gold diamond tv. Ok, maybe this one isn't actually solid gold and maybe the diamonds are just implanted around the side but dammit this has gotta be the biggest waste of money since the trade embargo on Cuba. Sure, I'll buy three of four, but that's only to prevent you suckers from owning them not because I actually think they are a good product.

Human Space Invaders

Aaah humans is there anything they can't do. I mean look at this fine video of some jokers playing Space Invaders. You'd think that this would be easy to do but no, look closely. Those are real humans out there and they are dying at a rate of knots. Oh the humanity, why can't they just live in peace instead of firing humans at a bunch of humans to kill them. I demand vengance so I'm forming my own army of humans to take on these evil space invader humans and I will soon render them incapacitated.