Walken 2008 - Official Website

Yes, looks like everyone's favourite actor come politician (no I don't mean Arnie) is planning on running for Pres in 2008. The official Walken 2008 website will direct you to the best of his policies along with a rather interesting biography and some stores about his stance on a variety of issues. Actually its a damn shame that this is a big hoax and was launched by members of an internet frat party who wanted to have a laugh. Still, I guarantee he'd make a damn site better president than the current monkey in the whitehouse.

Of time travel and warp drives

For decades mankind has been fascinated with the idea of warp drives. Some kind of super mega drive that can easily cross the vast distances of space without the neep to travel at feeble sub-light speeds. Well supposedly the answer to all our problems has been lurking on the net and its all so simple. Basically you have to wrap yourself up somehow in a bubble of time space bendy holdy goodness. Don't you understand already... Its simple to complete time travel all you need is a Warp Drive. In addition warp drives are so much more superior to the outdated wormhole technology because they enable you to travel in all directions not just between two points like in a wormhole.

My Life as a...Gas Station Attendant.

Doesn't sound very exciting does it. But gas station guy has an intoxicating strangley addictive writing style that appealed to my caffeine addled brain at 4 o'clock on a slow Monday afternoon. Maybe its the amatuer philosophy, maybe its the completely inane stories about random strangers that anyone who has worked in any form of service industry can relate to and maybe I'm just too hemped up on goof balls to know what is going on. But anyone if you are looking for some creative fiction or maybe some carefully edited non-fiction than the Gas Station Attendant may be the blog for you. Plus its a whole lot more interesting than my relentless consumerism and tales about bacon.

Test yo speed fool

I always liked strange internet speed tests for some reasons. I used to like those old graphics tests that would display all this rendering and stuff and then claim that your computer was 300 times faster than a dx4 100, well yet another test is the internet download and upload test which gives you an indication of how justified your installation of 3 T3 lines was. So get download speed testing and see how pov your connection really is. Plus its a waste of time on the internet.

3 wheel cars

Everytime I think of three wheel cars I can't help but remember the old one in Mr Bean that continually got pushed off the road and into all kinds of accidents by Mr Bean's trusty mini. Something tells me that this Peugeot 20CUP would only fair marginally better as it is pretty small and looks damn light. Seems like the ideal car for a weekend trip in snowy conditions as I guarantee that the three wheels would provide excellent stability and control in all conditions.

Oh yeah and if you were wondering how my trip was hunting panamanian hat makers, I found a few prize specimens and have succeeded with a 98% kill ratio. I've mounted some of the best specimens in the lab to inspire the monkeys to greater feats of subservience and to remind them of the price of failure.

Dudes and Dudettes

Dudes and Dudettes,
I will be away for the next week or so, trying to hunt down some Panamanian Hat Makers who were kidnapped by the belgian mafia in a successful coup. In the meantime buy yourself some L337 clothing that makes no sense and find me some high quality links to include in the blog. Mike already sent in some high quality stuff about a Headless Chicken so the rest of you punks should be able to do much the same.

New NSX

The NSX has been an awesome car for a long time now, but the current model has been around for more than ten years with only a number of basically cosmetic changes. The new NSX will be all wheel drive and be able to leap over tall buildings in a single bound. The car looks pretty damn awesome and features more power than a powerbar filled with guarana.

How strayan are you

Do you know what a bluey is? How man snags can be found on the barbie or in Cube on a Saturday night? Do you have any idea what I'm talking about? Well if you do, or even if you don't you should take a shot and work out howstrayan you are. Yes strayan is the official spelling of "Australian" as the british like to call it and a couple of shelias would do pretty well on this rib tickler. So get quizzin' fools.

Robot Cat!

Look its a Robot Cat! This little feller will keep even the most amazed sceptic happy, using the powers of the mind this partially paralysed cat can control some mechanised robot machine that will keep the kids amused for hours. Plus as an added bonus if you were to tie him up in a hessian bag and throw him off a bridge he'd sink a lot faster than a normal cat.

International Federation of Competitive Eating

I dream of entering the competitive eating circuit. I mean what other action provides all the glamour and fun of eating. I've been working on my hotdog skills but there is no way I can match some of these crazy fools. So if you want to sign up for a lifetime of fun and eating then head to the official International Federation of Competitive Eating and get some dogs into you.

Thanks Mike for reminding me!

J-Walk Blog Link Experiment

Just a little experiment from ye olde J-Walk Blog that is trying to determine how effect link stats are. My bet is that any stats will be missing heaps of blogs. To read the original post look at the following site: J-Walk Blog Link Experiment. More content about genetic super monkeys to follow later.

Free DOS Games

For all those old sk00l kids on the block comes this collection of over 400 DOS games. It provides some helpful advice on how to get all these trusty fun games happening on your mega super chumping PC that has 8 gig of RAM and 8 Xeon processors so get get downloading and start enjoying the origins of PC gaming. Some of these games are absolute classics and includes some of my personal favourites such as: Lemmings; Commander Keen; Descent; Duke Nukem etc.

Looks like its time to kick ass and chew bubblegum, the only problem is that I'm all out of gum!

Bacon Robots

It's a really stupid name I know but the monkeys were getting tired of having to front up and make bacon for me every morning. They kept complaining and throwing faeces at each other and the chimps kept arguing with the gorillas over who made the better bacon that I decided it was time to invest in a couple of Bacon Robots. These robots are every homeowners dream, and although the online system enables you to schedule your appointment it is much better to grab a couple of 'bots for yourself so you'll never be without.

Via J-Walk Blog

Ricky Gervais Simpsons more info

You might remember that I wrote a few months ago about Ricky Gervais appearing on the simpsons. This will hopefully be one of the more amusing episodes that the simpsons creators have put together for a while. The episode which was written by Gervais will feature himself in a comedy role not unlike his alter ego from the office. Well that's my hope at least, if you want to see what Ricky will look like there are some pictures of Ricky Gervais on the simpsons available here. Plus his weblog is a good place to keep track of all the news surrounding one of the few expected highlights from television in the next couple of years.

Brian's Predictions

Brian claims to have a 92% success rate with predictions, and for tomorrow he has predicted that a 9.5 Quake will Hit California. As an added bonus the guy hasn't used his predictive powers to make millions of dollars because "No joking, I found out years ago, that money is really the root of all evil". So he isn't a crackpot and you can go and read all about it at his fantabulous site. If you want to actually read his predictions scroll down to the bottom and pick a month. Supposedly he draws things in his dreams which come true. Uh Huh. Sure.

What Can You HEMI?

The hemi engine has been around for about 50 years in a variety of guises and it is generally used in performance vehicles as it offers a bunch of power for a reasonably compact size. Recently there has been a competition to see What Can You HEMI? Basically what foolish idea have you got to put a hemi to use in some other capacity. Well the winner has been announced and its a trike, but thats not that exciting some of the other entries are much better. I'm going to fit a hemi to my chair at work so that I don't have to walk all the way to the kitchen, instead I can glide in power and comfort.

Games are bad

A friendly word of advise from our gaming addicted neighbours Korea. Where a man had quit his day job to spend more time gaming. After a 50 hour marathon the man died from heart failure, probable caused by sitting on his ass for the previous three days eating nothing but donuts and coffee. This type of phenomenom must be seen as more ammunition for the anti-gaming lobby who want the internet devoted to healthy wholesome fun like porn and online poker.

Chugg.... I mean Chubb

So I asked Chugg... I mean Chubb to provide me with some high quality links as he has decided to just sit around and enjoy his five day weekend. And what does he give me??? Crane Accidents, I mean everyone loves cranes and no one wants to see them crashing down in a fiery mess of twisted metal and severed limbs. Well, unless you are some kind of freak, go on click on the link, I know you already did because you can't get enough of Action News and all you are interested in is today's body count. Well screw you flanders, I'm going to Moe's.

Water Fire

Now normally you'd be adding water to a fire to make it go out, unless it was a oil fire and you were looking for some serious flare up. But now, you too can harness the magical power of science to make a fire that burns water. By using electricity the system separates the hydrogen and the oxygen and then burns the hydrogen and releases the leftover oxygen into the environment. Sounds pretty nifty and as an added bonus you could not ignite the hydrogen and keep it all for a big explosion a la the hindenburg!

The IKOO transporter

Although it has a really bad name, the IKOO transporter actually looks like a pretty cool little scooter. It folds up to a miniature size and is powered by an electric motor capable of propelling yo fat ass the 500 metres down to the nearest fast food joint. With a huge top speed of 18mph you'll soon be the envy of the nearest Harley Club near your house. Wow, its only a grand too, so you may as well buy a few spares for when the first one runs out of batteries.

Vote Now!

Vote now for your favourite scientist, will it be the man who trained monkeys to make decent quality beer, or the guy that invented a laser so powerful that he was able to blind small rodents from a distance of five metres. Oh man, none of these scientists made it instead its all cool stuff like helping the environment and things. There is one guy who somehow proved that if you are gambling and playing two losing games somehow they can be combined into a winning result, the phenomenom known as the Parrondo Paradox is a strange mystery of the magical world known as gambling. Although supposedly it won't work in the casino. Oh, well there is always next time.

Intestines are cool

This is an interesting little site that shows the journey of one of those little cameras through someone's intestine. Its not the most attractive thing in the whole world, but the internet today isn't filled with enough stories about midgets fighting off a horde of alligators using a boomerang. Man, I wish they had a video of that, but no. Instead people film boring stuff like their trip to the shops to buy icecream and stuff.

Tornado Chasing Vehicle

This truck/tank thingee is used to chase tornadoes, which has gotta be one of the dumbest things that people can do. Didn't you see that movie "twister" people, I mean seriously those things can go crazy and throw fence palings right through your brain. I guess that's why they armour plated the thing and keep it stocked up with a lifetime supply of goof balls and space food sticks in case you get stuck out in the middle of nowhere. Plus you could use this thing for clearing the road during the next nuclear winter or something.

Soccernet Best Headline Ever!!

As a regular reader of soccernet I was quite amused to find this article with perhaps the greatest headline in the history of sports journalism. The article is a serious piece of reporting but I just can't stop laughing at the title. It begs the question, did the editors of the site really read what was being published?? If it was intentional then its a stroke of genius, if it was unintentional even better.

Interview with "The D"

"Tenacious D in: The pick of destiny" is likely to be the greatest movie ever made, or should be if you believe the hype surrounding "the D". JB and KG are busy writing, producing and starring in their latest feature film which will break all box office records and annoy many grandmas. In this D interview you can find out very little regarding the actual movie and only find out that the D are as crazy as always and that they don't want to give away too much about their movie. It better be hard rockin' and filled with guns and action and sizzling guitar solos or there'll be trouble.

ZOMG Zork

Hey all you net denizens, I don't know how many of you remember zork. It was one of the original text adventure computer games and from what I can remember from 15 years ago was quite difficult and filled with monsters and swords and all kinds of wacky stuff. Text adventures have kind of fallen by the wayside recently as people use graphics and a total lack of gameplay to impress people, but for those old enough to remember them they proved to be a lot of fun. The game of zork pits you with only your keyboard into the dank dark world of the dungeon and challenges you to remember a giant map using the power of your mind alone. So try some gaming history and get into it foolz.

Optimus prime..... no, no optimus keyboard

Man this transforming keyboard is just so blah. I wonder with a name like optimus did they name it after Optimus Prime? Everyone's favourite transformer who went round destroying the evil decepticons. "Pow, Bang, Smash" that's how he'd go. Well in unrelated news a guy changed his name to optimus prime in 2003 and then went out to fight in the middle east. Sounds like a pretty kooky guy, but Optimus always seemed to not have quite enough firepower. Man, this post is really screwed up but the moral of the story is that if you have a keyboard that changes keys than you'll be some kind of gaming master and multi-lingual genius or something like that.

Here is Optimus in all his glory.

Simpsons - Season 6

Aaah, the genius of movie companies. This time they have decided to release the simpsons season 6 collection with a completely different design from the previous series's. I mean how hard would it be to continue the pattern of release, instead we get a giant Homer's head, which though amusing doesn't quite fit in with the coloured box sets of the previous 5 seasons. At least this time the Australian release is only 6 weeks after the US one which is better than the normal 6 month waiting time. So enjoy season 6 here and don't forget that there are only 5 main characters in the simpsons so they'll probably change the boxes around season 10 again.



Thanks for the drunken discussion Dan!

Silicon Spies, An awesome movie, not!!!

I'm all for independant production and all that, but when a bunch of techno geeks get together in the backend of the earth that is Canberra to make a sci-fi movie there have got to be serious issues with the quality of production that will be made. Silicon Spies is an attempt to gather the "cream" of Canberra's acting and CGI industry together to make the greatest movie ever, even greater than Revenge of the Nerds III. I know you say it can't be done, and that there is no way this will ever happen but maybe just maybe one day this movie will make it out of production and into the straight to video selection at your local video store. Then you might hire it, but more likely you will pick up some midget porn instead to fill your day with thoughtless abandon.

Thanks Anish!