Outta Here

I'm sure my huge reading audience are dreading this day but I will be heading out on a panda hunting journey through Japan and Hong Kong. So for three weeks I'll be cruising the jungles of micronesia looking for the rare spotted, brown panda. Yeah you probably don't believe me but I'm serious look I already did my research and came up with some fine Panda Recipes!! Hooray. Three weeks away from this hell hole, damn flanders. Catch you all on the flipside on the 15th Feb or so!

I can see through walls.

I read this a couple of days ago about some guy who has claimed to invent a machine that can see through walls, his car, his hand and all kinds of other crap. Then he claimed that it was unsafe so he dismantled it but put it back together so 'scientists' could see his invention. Sounds like it was completely full of crap to me so in true internet style I did some 'research' and returned a bunch of crap on the inventor and his invention. He is a crazy dude who has invented all kinds of other crap before including a suit to withstand bear attacks and a bunch of other crap. Plus there is also some company who claims to be working on the same thing. It all sounds mighty dodgy to me, but if you all choose to believe than thats ok. Cheques can be delivered to the sasquatch c/o the moleman at the lost city of atlantis.

Angry Dad

I dunno if you remember the episode of the simpsons where Bart godes Homer into doing more and more angry things to make his comic strip angry dad. Well that was pretty funny but this mp3 takes the cake. A radio station in New Zealand (weird accents, lots of sheep) had a contest to get your parents angry to go into the draw to win a trip to Rome to see Eminem. Just listen to the results of this call.

Thanks Lance!

Tank Car

I love a good tank as much as the next man and often take mine out for a Sunday morning spin. Nothing beats tearing up some tarmac in our nations capital on a fine Sunday morning. But sometimes a tank just isn't quite maneuverable enough, plus it get noisy and hot in the damn cabin. So thats why I'm waiting for the Tank Car. With many of the security benefits of a tank plus the driving style and tipping over abilities of your average SUV. It's just what we need, vehicles that make people feel more god-like on the road and more likely to cause road rage incidents. Idiots.



via J-walkblog

George W Needs more Intelligence

Thanks Mykl for this great headline off CNN this morning. I have to completely agree with it, Bush definitely needs better human intelligence. Maybe any intelligence at all would be a bonus. Aaaaah its gold I say, comedy gold.

Tea and Cream Flavoured Booze

Now I like a classy drink as much as the next man and I am often seen perusing the foreign beer section of my local beermart yet this tea and cream flavoured liqeur seems just a little strange. I mean basil seed martinis are all well and good and I can see how cream liqeurs could potentially be seen as tasty but this strange conglomeration just freaks me out. For starters tea is about a million times better when drunk without milk or cream and adding all this together into a liquor mush jus strikes me as wrong. Oh well, enjoy at your peril.

Followup! Branson boasts of mile-high pleasures on Airbus superjumbos

After yesterday's announcement of the trusty airbus a380 comes news that some airlines won't just be cramming 800 people onto the flight instead they'll be including other money sucking adventures such as casinos, shops and all night strip joints. Plus because they are no longer under the laws of specific countries there will be as many drugs as you can handle and all night cock fights. Well probably on Virgin anyway. Go Branson Go! Anything that could relieve the boredom of long haul international flights is a definite bonus.

Aaah Engrish

As I'm off to Japan next week I thought I'd link the everyones favourite dodgy Japanese English site, Engrish. I am expecting to see a wide variety of humorous Japanese English use in my time in Japan and will try to take as many photos as I can of the constantly amusing and entertaining English use. Plus the super mega wish fun crazy games and other amusing things such as vending machines and whatever else I can find.

Postal Experiments

An interesting experiment set up by some chimps a few years ago to test exactly what could be sent through the USPS mail system. Their amazing results are documented and a description of what they sent and how long it took to get there. I especially like the fact that one of the bricks they sent had been pulverised to determine if it contained drugs or other illicit substances. I think you'd have reason to complain then because your brick is no longer useful for the purpose it was originally intended.

Bloody Huge Mate

I've always wondered why there wasn't more competition for the Boeing 747 as the mega carrier of the skies. I mean that plane has been around for about 30 years without really being updated too much. Well enter the Airbus A380, its being launched today. It can seat up to 800 people, and has a ridiculous on board shop and all kinds of other gadgets. Most airports in the world are currently not able to take the plane as it is just too damn massive. Still I can't imagine flying economy is going to be exactly comfy. With 800 other hot sweaty souls jammed in around you on two floors in really can't be that good. This aircraft news site has some background information on the jet and this LA Times article (free registration required) goes into a bunch of detail about how its all manufactured. The sooner that supersonic scramjets become the norm the better I say.

Tallest, Fastest Roller Coaster on Earth

Now I love rollercoasters. Particularly seat of your pants crazy upsidedown gigantic rollercoasters that leave you completely insane at the end of the ride. Enter The Tallest, Fastest Roller Coaster on Earth, 151 feet higher than the statue of liberty and with performance (0-128mph in 3.5 seconds) better than every single super car in the world. This thing would be pretty crazy but the only bummer would be the queues that would probably stretch from here to eternity. Still it'd be one hell of a ride.

I didn't realise I had put a nail through my brain

Well this weekend I was out with the old nail gun rampaging through the streets and what should happen the damn thing backfires. Now I thought everything was fine but I ended up with a hell of toothache. So I went off to the dentist and discovered a nail embedded in my brain. Well thats kind of the story of this crazy roofer who managed to put a 10cm nail through his brain.

Super robots are your superiors

I for one welcome our robot overlords. Capable of climbing verticle slopes while storing 10 billion songs and accessing the internet over a 10Mbit conenction comes the Roboclimber. Well maybe it can't store mp3s or access the net but damn it can climb up landslides and reinforce the ground to prevent human casualities. Plus it uses bendy holdy technology and can also be used to mine for minerals on mars. Its true goddam it, it was designed by the European space agency and can be hax0red by any l33t with a wifi connection. Well it runs off a wi-fi conneciton anyway. Have I confused you enough?

Here is a pretty picture to ease your pain.

Creature Purpotedly from the Tsunami Disaster

Dunno if you've seen the email circulating (Thanks Mykl) that shows a bunch of strange deep sea creatures that were washed up on land because of the tsunami disaster. Well it turns out that it's a half truth. The creatures are all real, with no photoshop trickery involved but they were all collected from a deep sea voyage in the tasman sea in 2003. Still they make some pretty freaky creatures, enough to ensure that most small children can be scared away from ever swimming in the ocean. Mu hahahahahah


This cute little fellow is known as the Humpback Anglerfish, and it lures prey with a light hanging above its mouth.

Blogosphere

As people in the interweb gradually make up more and more words such as blogosphere the need for websites that try to graphically display these terms is becoming a priority. That doesn't make much sense but I was trying to think of something to say about the TouchGraph site, which enables you to view where a particular blog lies in the sphere of all blogs. Its in a pretty early phase unlike the Musicplasma site which is a pretty cool utility enabling you to find artists similar to other artists you like by searching the crazy spheres.

The Principality of Sealand

Everybody dreams of founding their own country where they can come up with their own laws and kick people out who are really really annoying. Plus you get to issue your own currency and give out passports and all other kinds of stuff. Enter The Principality of Sealand, located 6 miles off the coast of Britain, it used to be a WWII base but the British abandoned it and some fool claimed it as his own country. Now it sounds pretty bogus to me but hey you never know maybe some fool did find a free piece of unoccuppied land in international waters and claimed it as his own. The website makes interesting reading anyway.

Update: So I did a bit more research on the old interweb on sealand and came up with a couple of interesting articles. There is an old article from wired that talks about some companies plan to make millions of dollars and there is a Wikipedia article that goes into a lot of history. Its all very strange really.

Sodium Explodes with a Big Bang

Those who remember high school chemistry also remember that sodium goes bang and kablammo pretty well. I remember a number of sites on the net over the years displaying what happens when you chuck lumps of sodium into water. They were all well and good but most of them were just drunken frat-boys out for some fun. The Sodium Party site on the other hand tries to deal with the issue in a much more scientific manner. Their scientific methods may not be perfect but they kept me mildly amused for a little while. Plus the site includes explosions the only thing lacking is some monkeys and this would be the world's greatest site.

This is the amount of turkey that Lee almost managed to drink while down the coast. I know this post sux but I'm just trying out a new way to post photos.

Killer Whale Gets Kayaker?

Put this into the possibly fake collection put goddam its still pretty freaky. Take a look at this friendly kayaking video which shows precisely why you should never combine action sports with your love of whale hunting.

Update: So it turns out that it is fake, with a little bit of research on the internet. Its actually a commercial for Powerade from Japan. Those crazy Japanese fools and their ridiculous tv.

Dilbert like office toys

Whoever came up with this "playset" must have read way too many Dilbert comics. You can create a customised office for your worker drones and can expand to whatever size you wish your corporation to grow to. Sounds completely pointless to those of us who work in an office, I mean really who wants to go home and play with toys that are exactly the same as the crap you do every day.


Via BoingBoing

Man auctions ad space on forehead

This seems to be the latest fad sweeping the world of online auctioning, selling off parts of your body for temporary tattoos. This article talks about the first guy to do it but I had a look on ebay and there seem to be a bunch of people who are now cashing on the millions of dollars to be made as a walking advertising banner. This ad is pretty standard example and no one seems to be bidding despite the fact that he pasted some crap on his forehead using ms paint. Idiot.

Drive sideways why not.

Just when you thought SUVs couldn't get any more ridiculous along comes jeep that has zero turning circle and twin v8 engines. Just because its only a concept car doesn't mean that it wouldn't be seriously fun to take this bad boy on a cruise through your local national park or school playground. The hurricane or whatever its called also manages to get from 0-60mph in less than 5 seconds while providing at least 3 rolls and catching on fire at least once every day. This post is going nowhere, I knew I should have got some sleep last night..... that's it I'm off to get some coffee.

62-Foot Stogie Rolled in Puerto Rico

Now 62 feet is a pretty damn large stogie but I dunno if one man could possibly smoke it all. I mean a normal cuban of around 8 inches takes approximately 3 hours to smoke unless you are some kind of smoking machine so a 62 foot one (that's 744 inches) would take about 279 hours (about a week and a half). I wager that any person foolish enough to try this feat would have a collapsed lung within the first 3 days. The picture in the story sucks but if you wanna see the article here it is.

Winners of the "I Look Like My Dog" Contest

The internet is a neverending source of amusement and whether or not these photos are actually of people and their pets I dunno, but man some of them sure do look like their dog. Its almost freaky in some ways. Maybe its like that thing where if couples live together for a long time they start to dress the same and adopt the same mannerisms, perhaps dogs are the same.

Esky Trains

Well this weekend was Canberra's largest tourist event of the year. Summernats! Home to so many commodore v8's that you wouldn't believe it. But enough about the cars the real story is the rideable eskys. The champion of all is the fools who managed to fit a v8 into their esky. The guy that originally did it broke his leg when he crashed it a couple of years back but some mates of his bought it and did it up. Making it one of the most awesome vehicles anywhere.

LFHCfS Man and Woman of the Year 2004

So you haven't heard of the LFHCfS and are confused by the acronym, you are wondering what the hell the crazy picture below has to do with anything. Well wait no longer, the LFHCfS is the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists; a most prestigious organisation that accepts scientific members who clearly have luxuriant and flowing hair. Sounds like a crock right well no actually the club has been running for sometime and they have just announced their Man and Woman of the Year!! Three men and three women have been given this exciting award and this is exactly the kind of ridiculous stupidity that is promoted on this blog.



Also yesterday this blog clocked up its 1000th visitor. Not bad for a blog that has nothing going for it and generally exists only by stealing newspapers out of trash cans and selling them for insulation. So if I was rich and famous or something I'd give a prize for the thousandth visitor, but I'm not so you get nothing.

Best of Still Photojournalism 2004

THe NPPA (National Press Photographers Association) has put their winners of the 2004 photojournalism awards up on the web. The shark attacking a guy isn't one of the winners because it was a fake people! Anyway the real winners can be found here. However the website is crappily designed and you have to click through the winners photo galleries 1 by 1 to see the pics. Still there are some kick ass photos in there.

New Photos!

I've put some pics of the drunken mayhem that was the coast up on the web at my usual photo page.


I'm kind of annoyed at webshots actually because they won't let you link to images, so for that they win the prize.

The photo of bourbon was the amount of bourbon lee was aiming to drink in a week (6 bottles). He fell half a bottle short! Oh so close. Also consumed was approximately 12 cases of beer and a whole bucket load of other stuff. So hungover....

Gran Turismo 4 first impressions

No they aren't my first impressions although I wish they were, but as you may have gathered I'm a huge GT4 fan and was hugely disappointed that it didn't make it out last year. Well its finally made it to japan and people have started writing first impressions. As you'd expect from the best game ever the reviews look pretty good and I can't wait until they finally release the Pal version for all the rest of us.

Plain Ridiculous Blood Alcohol Reading

I dunno if you remember the guy that blew .462, which I though was pretty insane at the time but now some dude in Bulgaria has blown an even more stupendous 0.914. They did the blood test 5 times to ensure its accuracy but even so I'm still pretty sceptical. Everything I've ever read or seen about alcohol and the body should've ensured this guy was dead. He was supposedly sitting around and talking, freaky man. Still it does come from a canadian news source so I dunno how trust worthy it is.



Maybe the dude was drinking some kind of floor polish or something.

Fake Tsunami Pics

I think every single news agency around the world has been circulating these pics of the tsunami disaster, its a terrible tragedy and I just think that anyone who tries to gain something by selling phony pictures of an earlier disaster is a freak and deserves everything thats coming to them. If you want to see the pics look here and you'll soon realise that these are the most common images we've seen of when the wave actually struck. Stupid internet with its millions of hoaxes, but what really gets me is that no international news agency bothered to check the authenticity of these pics and instead just went right on and published them all as gospel.

Sunseeker Yachts for the Rich

So what if Nicole Kidman bought one of these Sunseeker Yachts for $4.5 million. I could too if it wasn't for my $40,000 a day faberge egg habit. Actually I was lucky enough to spend boxing day out on Sydney Harbour on a cruising power yacht. It was a lot of fun and the thing I especially like about it is the fact that they have these guys that bring around ice creams in boats so if you want one you just hand over some cash. Man this is the worst post ever, maybe the holidays have affected my mind and are making me sit here and dream about sitting around in the sun on the harbour. Damn you work!

Gervais writing Simpsons episode and Welcome Back!!!

Happy New Year Everyone!!! We're back, back again. Guess who's back, back for more. Back in black and back for more blogging. Hope everyone had a good break, I know I did and I might even manage to get some photos up on the web sometime over the next few days if I get around to it. But who cares if I'm here, the much more important news is that Ricky Gervais is writing a Simpsons episode! Now this combines two of my favourite loves the simpsons "the best show ever" and the office "the most cringe-worthy hilarious show ever". So what kind of plot will be provided, who knows but all I know is I want it now. Right now and it better be good!



Mmmmm sooooo slimey.