Puki Game

This certainly is a Puki game. Man its a stupid title but the Puki Game itself is actually a bit of violence and amusement for a slow Tuesday afternoon. You get to shoot the baddies and all kinds of other stuff and its for free so what more could you want. Go ahead and waste a few hours at work with some mindless violence.

Christopher Walken Reciting Poe's The Raven

In an amazing followup (Thanks for the idea Dan) comes Christopher Walken Reciting Poe's The Raven. Now the format sux cause its a bunch of wav files but if someone felt especially keen they could merge them all into an mp3 and send me a copy. This search also gave me a look at a rather interesting Christopher Walken page that keeps track of everybodies favourite actor. Plus you can buy a copy of this awesome CD, that contains a copy of the Walken reading and bunch of other people reading Poe's poetry. Sweeeeeet indeed.

Sweet Mp3 of Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven

Edgar Allen Poe has to be my favourite poet because there is just so damn much darkness and ambience in his poetry. Nothing else I have read has ever quite captured the vibe of a decently read Poe poem. Well here is a fine reading of "The Raven" read by Basil Rathbone (whoever that may be). Sure there are ads at the start of the reading but goddam it get some culture people and listen to the poem and stop looking up videos of man getting hit in the groin with football.

Crazy Japanese Ads/Cartoons

Aaaah nothing beats a fine collection of crazy japanese web comics/ads. These little things are freakishly strange and will provide hours more amusement than generic web comic #1223. Plus you can get epilepsy from the strange flashing lights and amusing characters. Enjoy, you crazy hobos.

Via BoingBoing

F&F Supra for Sale

The fast and the furious was one of the more entertaining action/car movies to be made in the last few years. Sure, it had some wooden acting and script problems from day one, but the cars were cool and the plot held enough interest to keep you occupied on a long boring sunday evening. Well now you have a chance to own a piece of automotive history: The supra from F&F. Supposedly its been fully restored by the guys who made the car for the movies and it looks pretty sweet. So buy it for me, someone??? Only $80K so far.

The Hoff is back

So everybody loves the hoff and since you all place such ridiculous demands on my time I'm forced to resort to recycling links that are sent to me. So here is the Official Hasselhoff Site of Worship. A collection of the best information on the hoff and his sensational career. But rather than being a lame ass I have also included for your viewing pleasure a mighty fine Knight Rider site. So quit your whinging and start clicking on your favourite 80s memories. Bring back KITT!!!!

Cool WikiTrivia

This game still seems to have some bugs but its a lot more fun than most games out on ye olde internets. It takes facts from Wikipedia (everbodies favourite free online encyclopedia) and converts it into a trivia game. There still seem to be some bugs in the program because it gives the answer away sometimes but mostly it seems to work pretty well and is actually pretty damn difficult. So try for yourself if you're bored and full of useless trivia knowledge.

Via J-WalkBlog

Hunter S. Thompson Gonzo Tribute Beer

What finer way to honour the dead than to release a beer in their honour. Well you could fire their ashes out of a cannon, but according to Hunter's will his wife will arrange that. So instead we get Hunter S. Thompson Gonzo Tribute Beer. A clean crisp ale that will guarantee hallucinations and demonic possession. Plus is 9.5% Alcohol so it will only take a few and you too will be cruising your drunken way to vegas with a collection of bats to keep you company.

Bike Bully gets p@wned!

So some guy in the back of a car decides to smack some kid riding a bike. Sounds like an innocent enough prank right? A bit of amusement for the local hobos to stop them injecting themselves with hardcore drugs. Well see the adventure here and witness what potentially is one of the craziest videos ever to gain interent fame. I won't reveal too much but go and watch the video and read the story....

Thanks Mark and Patrick!

Puzzled Brits Clamor for Su Doku

Since Dan pointed out to me the crazy world of Su Doku I have joined the millions of others who are enjoying the world of su doku. Its not quite a crossword and not quite a maths logical puzzle but its quite fun and a good way to amuse yourself through a quiet decade at work. The crazy brits are addicted to the game which originally came from Japan and is probably more exciting than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick. Su doku puzzles can be found all over the web and soon there will be a major motion picture and an online challenge version to beat your friends (if there isn't already). So get puzzling, punks.

Monkeys for all

My current crop of monkeys were feeling a little down, it could've been all that whisky I was feeding them and the fact that they do nothing every day but try to take over the world but I think they are just soft. So I set out on an amazing venture to locate some new monkeys. These monkeys are infinitely superior as they will work for minimum wage while cutting the costs of whisky consumption in half. Plus they sound like a duck, reuters stole my article but I guess they got the gist of it right.

How to Perform Strong Man Stunts

This book from the 1950s has to be one of the more interesting pieces of history available on the net. How to Perform Strong Man Stunts by Ottley R. Coulter is a whirlwind adventure that will impress enable you to impress all your friends with your amazing strongman stunts. Some examples of topics include "How to Tear a Telephone Book in Halves" and "How to Support 1000 Lbs. of Living Weight with Ease", what mroe could you possibly want?

Outrageous Ebay Auctions

Having been continually sent thousands of links a day to amusing ebay auctions I thought I'd provide some form of compilation site back to the rest of you. Are you bored with trying to find the cheapest possible 1984 delorean on ebay and instead are looking for the strange and abnormal. Well enter, Outrageous Ebay Auctions a fine compendium of all that is wrong and interesting with ebay today.

Mmmmm, 30,000 calorie sandwich

So feeling a little peckish I went in search of the 30,000 calorie sandwich. A pure monstrosity that defies the imagination and could feed a small african nation for 3 years. This sandwich is perhaps worse than many previous sandwiches because so many of the ingredients are deep fried and then fried again for that healthy heart stopping feeling. I could sure go for one of these right about now.

Gerbils

Since I have been too busy to look up some high quality links for all you punters out there I am instead reduced to providing meaningless information on gerbils. Man, this is a crazy pointless friday afternoon after a long and crappy week but what else have I got, eh? No one sent me any fainting goats or anything else amusing today, jerks. Its all your fault, that's it, I'm going to go grab a beer.

Fainting Goats

This is one of the most serious and amusing emails I have seen in a long while, involving the dreaded Fainting Goats. Supposedly the goats have a congenital defect that means that when they are startled they collapse. Despite the serious nature of the problem, the goats are bred for their strange fainting. God its amusing, just watch the goats go. (Sorry the link contains annoying popups)

Thanks Ingi!

PS3 v Xbox360 Console War (again)

I know that everyone loves a console war and the next round is set to kick off with the PS3 up against the XBox360. Now I make no claims as to which console is actually going to be better but I have to say that personally I hated the original xbox, it was a hunk of junk with a crappy controller and a selection of bodgy crappy games that I didn't like. Well actually the main reason I hated it was because it was made by damned microsoft whose monopoly will soon be challenged by my own operating system called "anish". Anyway in conclusion the ps3 is going to kick ass because of its cell processor and microsoft is going to crumble into burning rubble. That is all

Robocup, not quite evil enough

So this annual tournament where robots duel it out in a professional battle to the death is on again. Well its not actually a battle to the death but more of a robo soccer challenge. The RoboCup 2005 contains all the details you could need for the upcoming challenge which takes place in July. It'd be a lot more interesting if they could actually fight each other to the death or something, but still soccer is pretty cool.

Human hydrofoil

Well not really a human hydrofoil because that'd be pretty impossible, it is still a human powered hydrofoil. So basically you jump on this thing, and drive around while getting completely screwed because powering yourself across water would be a complete bastard. Plus currently its only available in South africa but I'm sure you could order one in if you were keen. Could be a lot of fun if you had your own lake or something or lived on a quiet bay where the temperatureis always 30 degrees C and you could sit round drinking margharitas's. Bastards, now I'm just rambling.

DREAD Weapon System: Devastating, Jam-Proof, and Silent.

I noticed this a couple of weeks ago but forgot to blog about it, but here it goes. Unlike conventional weapons the dread system takes ball bearings and using centrifugal force fires them through your worst enemies with deadly accuracy. This defense review site contains all the information you could ever want on the DREAD Weapon System. Its also silent except for the ultrasonic boom as the ball bearings break the sound barrier and could be mounted on cars, trucks, tanks, houses and your pet monkey for maximum efficiency. There are also some pretty interesting videos on the site if your interested and new weapons are always going to be cool for my undead genetic super army.

The greatest release in the history of the universe

Some would say that living in a backwater like Australia has certain benefits, you know quiet lifestyle, best beaches, neverending summer days and a general addiction to beer. But there are some things that really get me pissed off, and one of these was the complete lack of a release of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas on DVD. I mean how hard is it to encode something for our region that has been out for years in the states. Well wait no longer, the best movie in the world is just a few days away! So go and order away punks because I'm sure they'll stop selling it in three weeks for no apparent reason, but for now drool over the cover.

Muhahahhahhaha self replicating machines

As part of my ever growing genetic super army I also require a certain number of robots, you know to clean the house and cross minefields while carrying explosives and to make excellent martinis (the monkeys just can't get them right). Well in further advances, scientists back at the lab have started producing cube robots that can replicate themselves. I'm not entirely sure what use the three cube robots are at this stage, they can't get drunk and dance for my amusement and all they seem to be able to do is rotate around a bit, stupid robots.



Thanks Patrick!

Artificial Intelligence

Although this crazy invention isn't really intelligent it is pretty damned cool. You know the game '20 questions' well supposedly it can guess what you are thinking over 70% of the time, plus it comes in a nice shiny package. Based upon a program that gradually builds up knowledge based upon yes/no answers it contains a startlingly large amount of information. So for information about the thing look here, but here is where you can play an online version of 20 questions. Enjoy, thinking up lots of strange things that could potentially stump the 20 questions machine.

Those crazy russians

Feeling a little down? Struggling with the concept of the universe and the harmony between all the galaxies and planets? Looking for someone to take your anger out on? Well turns out some crazy woman in Russia is suing NASA over a NASA mission designed to destroy a comet. Supposedly destroying the comet upsets the natural balance of the universe and also was a really really bad idea. Plus guess the amount that she wants for emotional damage?, 8.71 billion rubles which by my calculations works out as around US $313,089,739.56.

Whisky 'helps fight cancer'

I like the way they put the fact that Whisky 'helps fight cancer' in commas, like it really doesn't or something. Anyway, further reading of the ever reliable science news source (the telegraph uk) shows that its the antioxidants that are the key to stopping the evil cancer in its tracks. Supposedly takingin antioxidants through Whisky is much better for you than through wine because Whisky has more ellagic acid. Anyway basically this really isn't news at all, just further confirmation of the fact that antioxidants help ward of cancer and the fact that Whisky tastes great and is the beverage of choice for my genetic super army.

Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny

So the 'D' are back with a new movie which is just plain gonna rock. I'm still kind of disappointed that I missed seeing them live last year in Sydney but I'm sure they'll be back for more on-stage mayhem. Anyway the official site didn't contain much useful information and even Imdb seems to be struggling for a lot of information about the D's new movie. Still with JB and KG at the helm its guaranteed to be the greatest movie in the history of the universe, or maybe just a tribute?

Consciousness-Based Education

I'm not sure exactly how Consciousness-Based Education works. Maybe you just gradually become aware that you have completed your course and all of a sudden get given a degree from the Maharishi University of Management. It certainly looks like a fairly high class place, I mean just look at the compare table on the front page. You get "Know the Self and enliven your total brain potential" and a "Unifying approach connecting all knowledge" and this is the killer for me "One course at a time (instead of 4-5 at once)". Sounds like a pretty sweet deal, I'm enrolling right now!

Thanks Mykl!

Translate Anything

Good morning and welcome all to another week of dodgy links and talk of monkey super armies. Say you have a problem, and just say for instance that that problem is that your genetic super army of monkeys only speak Spanish. And say the solution to the problem is that you want a dodgy translation that only provides some of the answer, well trusty Babel Fish can attempt to translate into a variety of languages. Plus its a lot of fun to have a conversation in spanish even if you have no idea what you're talking about.

Performance-enhancing contact lenses

As if international superstar athletes aren't already super human enough due to their huge injections of Human growth hormone and their neverending supplies of bionic parts, now they are releasing performance enhancing contact lenses. I would've thought that any contact lens was performancing enhacing because it actually enables to you see properly but thats clearly a side issue. Supposedly they help you pick out a moving object and focus on it better but they also give your eyes an evil red glow which might be used for just plain scaring the opposition.

How to Survive a Zombie Attack

Following up on yesterday's fine article on Zombies comes the perfect piece of advice. How to Survive a Zombie Attack details all you will need to survive your next encounter with the undead. It sounds pretty simple, but how many times have you been hanging round your ranch when suddenly you are confronted with a mob of angry zombies? Millions, I bet, and every single time you panicked, didn't you? Well now keep a copy of the guide handy at all times and you'll soon be zombie free!

Beckham Quotes

Continuing today's football theme comes some of the funniest quotes that I've read in a long time. All thanks to everbodies favourite genius David Beckham. I mean I knew he can't play football, has no left foot and is barely comprehensible but these quotes are just plain ridiculous.

Champions League Final Tickets Istanbul

After Liverpool somehow managed to grab the lead and hang on to it in their nail biting champions league semi-final, I thought there might be a few people out there interested in tickets to the final. Well as I blog this they are already worth US $1675 and that's with 6 days left! So don't expect them to come cheap! Any hobo who was interested in just showing up to the game and buying tickets from a scalper might be paying a lot more than they expect.

This site also claims to have tickets for the final although I dunno how trustowrthy they are. They seem to have tickets for a lot of stuff though.

Here is how Cisse will look after he misses a few more goals in the final...

Zombies are going to kill us all!

ABout a month late comes one of the more amusing April fools news stories is about zombies rising from the dead to attack people after a strange dose of malaria. For those who read this article yesterday you saw nothing..... Nothing!! Still it makes more interesting reading than a lot of the real news out there.

In some additional google fun go to google type in "french military victories" and hit the I'm feeling lucky button. Aaah french bashing, is there anything more amusing... well maybe America bashing but that's too easy!

Thanks twice Patrick!

Crazy Beer Bongs

Everybody loves a beer bong. That sweet sensation of having alcohol forced down your throat in an attempt to get as drunk as possible in as short an amount of time as you can. Well this guy had seen enough funnels with a cheap piece of hose attached and instead decided to create the The Ultimate Beer Bong. Including cooling and connections for kegs and all other kinds of contraptions it could quite simply be one of the greatest inventions known to man. The question remains whether you would kill or seriously injure yourself using it like that guy that ruptured his stomach last year.

Billiard Quiz

So you think you know a lot about Billiards and Pool? Eh, punk.. Well maybe you do and maybe you don't but this quiz is the place to find out. I scored a none too shabby 85%. Out of over 10000 people who ehave currently taken the test only 267 have so far achieved the excellent rating of 95% or above. So it isn't too easy, but it should be a bit of fun to take away your Monday boredom at work.

Motorbike vs. car

So you want to know what happens when you are riding your bike at 250kmh and don't see a car in front of you.

The pictures taken from this site clearly show the problems that can occur when you decide to ride like a maniac. I dunno about you but next time I take my hayabusa out for a spin with my monkey butler driving I'll be sure to get him to stay below 200kmh. That should keep me safe, right?