Thursday, June 30, 2005

World's First Fuel Cell Powered Robot

So this thing is fuel celled powered, so what. It uses like 1 litre of hydrogen every two minutes. If the new hydrogen cars are as efficient as this we'll all be stopping every 3km for a hydrogen topup. Plus my own personal hydrogen supplies are running dangerously low, so I'm keeping all the hydrogen to myself. The Fuel Cell Powered Robot looks kind of crappy and why didn't they fit it with some decent high powered weaponry, so it can go insane and attack the world.

Pac Hoff and other Hoff related sites

Back with more Hoff related stuff, thanks Dave for the links to Pac Hoff, which will provide you all with 5 minutes of amusement over lunch.... But onto bigger and brighter things, the ultimate hoff page provides you with plenty of detail about everyones favourite star, the only problem is that it is mostly factual. BUt it is a good source for hoff images. I keep trying to find a good hoff comedy site that collates and catalogues all hoff related pictures, images and video but it just didn't seem to exist. So all those budding web designers out there, get cracking and create the ultimate Hoff comedy site. I'm too busy getting drunk.

One important final message, at least Schapelle will have good company in jail.
Hoff and Schapelle, together at last

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

No freaking way man!!

This is perhaps the single freakiest most fun thing I've seen on the net for ages. Goto Google Earth and download the program, its about 10megs so be patient and then run it. Then you can search for anywhere in the world and zoom in on the area of interest. Some of the photos are only low res but some are amazingly high quality and you can see people and cars and all kinds of things. This site is just amazing and I recommend you try it. You will need broadband and a relatively fast computer for it to work but its freakin amazing when it does.

you can see my house from here

109 Litres of Beer per year

According to this article the average aussie drinks 109 litres of beer a year. Now this figure is slightly down on last year but it is still an impressive feat. According to my calculations that means that every single person in the country drinks 1 midi (almost 300ml) a day every single day of the year. Of course there is some averaging going on here such that some people drink 10 and others drink none but goddam its still a mighty impressive effort. According to the article thats 1.76 billion litres of beer, oh baby thats a lot of beer.

Nuclear fusion plant (not edible)

Nuclear Fusion has the possibility of becoming the next cheap, environmentally friendly source of energy for you crazy power sucking kids. Everything I've ever read about fusion (and that's suprisingly a lot due to crazy work) indicates that this project although with a lot of cash behind it only has a break even chance of actually generating useful amounts of power. At 10Bn Euros it ain't exactly a cheap gamble but if the fusion plant does actually work as intended it could signal a rosy future for all of us.

No dangerous waste like nuclear power and no use of fossil fuels mean that this sucker could be powering your home massage chair sooner than you think. The official ITER site details a bunch of stuff about how the reactor will work and tells you a bit of history if you are interested. Its a tokomak style reactor.... mmm tokomak, what a cool word.


Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Bacon Alarm Clock

There's nothing finer than waking up on a cool Sunday morning to the smell of some fine bacon cooking. However for most of us this sensation is reserved for our birthday or when our lousy monkey butler actually gets up before noon. Well wait no longer, the bacon alarm clock is an answer to all your prayers. I remember reading about this a couple of weeks ago but it slipped my mind, probably due to all that ritalin I've been taking recently but now I present it to you in all its glory. Swwweeeet bacony goodness, oh yeah!!!

Quit Work??

Quit work and become a freelance key grip. I always wanted to be a grip, I mean you get to grip stuff and that just sounds like a sensational job really. Well find out in this quiz if you really should quit your job. Online quizzes often provide little to no amusement and are frequently a load of crap but this one ain't too bad. And as a bonus you can find out if you are sick enough of your mind-draining job to quit it all and become a serious 1337 H@x0r or something.

Via J-Walk blog

Monday, June 27, 2005

Anonymous Lawyer

Yeah, yeah the current post on the top of this blog is old news for those fools who follow the email circuit, but I can't get enough sites that pay out lawyers. This fictional(?) tale about a lawyer and the day to day events in his not really so interesting life are actually somewhat witty and amusing. They kept me occupied for that brief period between lunch and my 1:30 powernap so maybe they'll do it to you to. Anonymous Lawyer is the site and its ramblings proved more coherent than my own pathetic meanderings.

Scientology Brainwashing Machine

The 'Church' of scientology claims that the E-Meter can be used to determine a persons thoughts and can reveal a persons inner secrets. Pretty cool huh for a dodgy machine that looks like they whipped it up from some crazy radio shack parts. Personally my opinion is that the E-Meter is used as some kind of brainwashing device to encourage more people to give up their sensible rational beliefs and go completely crazy. I didn't realise how much this whole freak church got into the brainwashing side of things, I thought they were all perfectly sane and normal.... yeah right. But the E-Meter could be useful to brainwash some of the genetic super monkeys and impregnate them with thoughts about how to best take over the world.

Thanks Gizmodo

Friday, June 24, 2005

Bionic Man Moves Artificial Arm With Brain

Aaaaaah, the bionic man will stop at nothing. He is powered by trusty old 240v and can't be stopped despite the fact the he only moves at 1kmh. The new Bionic Man can move limbs and pour himself a wide range of cocktails with nothing but the power of the mind alone. I can't wait to get me a bionic ass, it can do all the sitting for me while I get the hard work done.

Hong Kong Feb 05

So after repeated calls to put more pictures on the web (well there was at least one call), I've finally added my pictures from Hong Kong. I'm not promising any great stretches of quality here but there are some pretty cool shots. The city is pretty damned photogenic and I managed to get lucky with the weather on some occasions. There are a bunch of blurry ones and if you want the full story about the trip you'll have to buy me a beer. More random photos to follow in the next weeks.

Hong Kong by night, cool eh

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Mazes for you

I've always wanted one of those really huge hedge mazes spread across my 3000 acre ranch. It would be impeccibly maintained by a loyal cadre of 500 gardeners and would provide hours if not days of amusement. Well now you can have whatever maze you want. Besides simple hedge mazes they offer a whole bunch of other mazes to keep you amused and interested. It would be entirely cool to combine a mirror and hedge maze into somekind of freakish nightmare, but it'd probably just scare people and make them lose their minds.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Jetcar is just a cool name

Now I dunno how much about this car is actually good but any company with a product calledJetcar has gotta be pretty damned awesome. The only shame is that the car doesn't actually contain any form of jet engine. This has got to be the clearest case of false advertising I've seen in a long time. I mean seriously its a diesel engine, albeit small and fuel efficient but it aint no jet. I was expecting ridiculous performance and terrible safety but no, damned greenies are taking over the world.

Dance like a white guy

This fine video demonstrates all the techniques you'll need to Dance Like a White Guy! Including a special bonus section on slow dancing there is no finer collection of fine white boy dance moves. I especially like the fact that many of the participants are sporting a beautiful mullet, which only adds to the quality of the dancing.

Thanks Ingi!

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Bunny suicides & Bonus Truck accidents

Some pretty cool ways for bunnies to die. If you are of a sick mind and enjoy torturing small animals than this is definitely the site for you. The bunnies just keep on dying and I just keep on laughing. I especially like the creative and longwinded methods that many of the bunnies use to top themselves.

In a special double episode of this strange blog comes the completely unrelated Truck Accidents (in french). These are some pretty funny pictures to keep you occupied on Tuesday, the most boring day of the week. The interface sux on this page but the pictures are pretty cool, so don't blame me, blame the evil corporation that has enslaved your mother. I call him gamblor!

I especially like this picture....



Thanks Chubb for both links!!!

$1.8M Ferrari

I know if I had $1.8M schabangs to spend on something it would be a ferrari. Well maybe, after buying a house, paying off the current car loan and credit card bills etc. But wait, I can't even buy this damned ferrari, its only available to people who already own a ferrari. Maybe if I say Ferrari a few more times someone will offer me a free one. Ferrari, ferrari, ferrari. Probably not though, and the shame is this is actually one of the best looking cars I've seen in a long time.

Six-legged puppy dumped at temple

Now that's a lucky puppy, born with six legs, two penii and a hell of a lot of love to give this mega puppy will soon be a new feature in the genetic super army. Imagine how fast he could run and I'm sure his reproductive abilities would be second to none. Plus he'll get double the fun when licking himself or when humping your leg. He's the perfect pet that everybody would love to have, available now at your local temple for a small donation.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Superball Prank

A contest was sought for the greatest prank perpetrated upon an unsuspecting office member, some of the other finalists can be found here. Well the winner according to gadget blog Gizmodo is this rather amusing Superball Prank where an unsuspecting member of staff receives an extremely large pile of superballs on them. Pretty cool prank, but I prefer the more subtle ones like changing keys around on someones keyboard, or changing the settings on their monitor to all white or something.

The Magic Roundabout

Hmmm this interesting road feature would be sure to confuse the trusty motorists of Canberra who are easily confused and often spooked by the two lane roundabouts around here. This Magic Roundabout (and that's its official name too) has a series of 5 smaller roundabouts connected by one large roundabout. The most confusing thing is that on the smaller roundabouts you go around clockwise while on the big one you go anticlockwise. I dunno which planning genius came up with this but goddam it makes for one amusing piece of traffic mayhem.

Friday, June 17, 2005

Mind Control Made Simple

MInd Control has always been a fascination of mine, I mean imagine if you could control your genetic super monkeys using nothing but your mind. Well the first step in this long and arduous process is controlling your mobile phone with your mind. Supposedly you just think of who you want to call and you end up calling for pizza regardless because everyone is always thinking about pizza. The possibilities are endless, you could easily control all kinds of devices like your tv, microwave and pet hamster with simple mind control probes. Cool eh?

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Bad-Ass Bus

Everyone wants more posts about buses. Especially about evil death buses that cruise the streets of Baghdad looking for feeble normal buses to beat up on. Well the Road of Death's Bad-Ass Bus is a new generation of armoured passenger carrying vehicles designed for use in danger zones like central Baghdad and Cabramatta on a Saturday night. The bus comes fully equipped with armour plating and they even fired some rockets at it to test the armour. The people inside seemed ok about for some mild brain splattening and convulsions.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Where's Hoffy?

I dunno who the original creator of this image is, but I'd like to thank them for their fine contribution to the world of Hoff related stuff. This fine parody on Where's Wally (Waldo for crazy americans) hides 7 hoffs throughout a picture of immense amusement. Where's Hoffy? full version is available for your searching pleasure. I dunno how long it'll take you to find the Hoff but keep searching, I know he's in there.

If you know who created this or where it came from let me know so I can provide credit where credit is due.

Where's Hoffy

Thanks Ingi!

Water Bottle Jetpack

To make up for the extreme lack of posts (due to my drunkeness over the last four days) I will be providing a selection of high quality links for this afternoon. Including the Water Bottle Jetpack. Where a contestant on a Japanese game show gets shot across a lake using some kind of water cannon. They get a shite load of distance out of that thing and it really can't be that enjoyable for the contestants who get strapped into this crazy machine. What they really need is a wall to shoot them at, not that soft feeble lake.

727 converted into Limo

This has to be one of the weirdest conversions yet, a BOEING 727 Jet Limo. Supposedly you can drive it on the street on it does fully sic burnouts. Well probably not and my guess it really drives like a boat. But still it'd be pretty cool for those evenings cruising around your local hobo hangout.

Cooool Limo man!

Friday, June 10, 2005

Ctrl+Alt+Del - Tragically l337

Another boring webcomic you say. Well at least at Ctrl+Alt+Del there are a bucket load of episodes to keep you occupied. I'm not promising comedy gold here but it did manage to keep me amused for five minutes on a Friday afternoon while I painfully waited for beer o'clock to drag round. So keep your internets skills savvy and learn what generic web comic 800802358349085 really has to say.



Thanks Dan!

Human Superman

This interesting article is a lot like a mech from mechwarrior except that its not all loaded up with weapons and other crap. The robot suit that enhances human power is a prototype robot that will enable the weak or enfeebled to do the tasks of a normal mortal. Muhahahhaha. So no more getting out of that heavy lifting, grandma.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Store Wars

Aaah more dodgy star wars videos. This Store Wars one is actually pretty cool and damn funny. So get your download on and see some stupid videos. All the characters are made out of store produce and there is some pretty good animation involved.

Thanks Julie!

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Odds of Dying

So what are your chances of falling down the stairs? Want to know whether its really that likely that you'll die in a freak gasoline fight incident. Well enter the Odds of Dying, where a whole bunch of statistics about Americans dying has been compiled into one easy to read chart. Did you know for instance that the odds of dying (in a year) from an "Explosion and rupture of pressurized devices" is 1 in 10,664,490.

Last Will of Pope John Paul II

This could be the Last Will of Pope John Paul II although it seems highly unlikely due to the fact that it seems to be a pisstake on what JPII would have really done. Still its an amusing waste of five minutes of your life and includes such bequeaths as "To God-fearing President Bush and dear Laura, I bequeath my Rosary, that they, too, might rule the world in her name and to her everlasting glory…….".

Monday, June 06, 2005

Beer is good

Here are some mighty amusing videos detailing the adventures of a young man and beer. The first video details a young boyscout out to discover how easy it is to get adults to buy him beer. The second video (and best in my opinion) showcases the joy of a young man trying to generate some income using a 'lemonade stall' style beer stall. So watch the videos and dream of beer.

Those scamming bastards

So internet scammers (its always internet nowadays, what happened to regular scammers) have caused the death of a longstanding tradition, the Sub Club. By filling the world with nothing but phony stamps and cards the deal where you spend a shiteload of cash on some overpriced sandwiches and get one free eventually has come to an end. Will this mean the death of all similar free offers including the 'buy 6 kebabs get 1 free' from Ali Baba and the 'buy one tonne of porn get two tonnes free' deal?? I hope not, because without deals of these kind who could possibly consider paying for overpriced goods and services. Damn you laser printers and internets, denying me my rightful free food.

Friday, June 03, 2005

50 Year old beer

Oh yeah, nothing finer on a Friday afternoon than sitting down to a few 50 year olde lagers. I mean what could be more relaxing and better for your than some beer found buried. Except rather than drink the beer the 'archaeologists' involved have decided to rebury a lot of the fine brew. Those bastards, it was free beer and they didn't want to drink it. Idiots...

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Revenge of the Brick??

So some guys have put together a lego animation of revenge of the brick. I haven't actually seen the thing yet due to the evil quicktime format so this link is basically here to remind me to watch it later. If you want to actually download the thing you can get it here which is probably a much more user friendly format than the stupid window thing you have to use on the official site. Aaaah lego is there anything finer, from looking at the screenshots they don't actually use lego its just a stupid animation but it might be worth a look after all.

The Bionic Dolphin

This website for the Bionic Dolphin seems mighty dodgy which might lead some people to believe that there really aren't any human driven powered dolphins for sale. Well maybe you're all crazy and one day we'll be living under the sea driving our human powered dolphins to the local bar for some fresh whale burgers and beer. Those whale burgers I got a couple of years ago were really good... Plus I'm going to have to order a couple of these dolphins and get the monkeys to learn how to drive them rather than just eating all the whale burgers. This is like the most rambling worst post ever so we'll just have to see what happens.

Look at him goooo, so fake!

Sweet Nuclear Phones

The question I'm asking here is with all the radiation and crap already being produced by your trusty phone would you really want a nuclear powered phone. Wouldn't it be better to have a nuclear powered car or some other devices before you start cramming more radiation right next to your brain. Plus, wouldn't you be worried about the possibility of a meltdown in your pants. Now most of you are probably quite used to 'melting down' in your pants but for the normal part of the world this could be a bit of a concern.

Drinks machine 'cuts time at bar'

Wait up a second, this sounds like a very very old concept. There's nothing new about an automated drinks machine even if it is selling alcoholic beverages. I remember the Uni bar a few years back had a machine where you could purchase your beer without the interference of evil bar staff. So this guy is making millions if not billions off of a second hand idea. Stupid jerk, I want my billions of dollars for re-inventing the wheel.

The duel

Don't ask me to explain it because really I've got no idea, just watch the duel and you'll soon understand the meaning to life the universe and everything. Well not really but its interesting nonetheless and its a complete waste of time, so go for it fools.