Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Beer baths

Oh beer, is there anything you can't do. Not content with just being able to get you drunk beer has moved into the ultra elite day spa market. This Czech brewery, Chodovar, offers users the experience of a full body spa in beer plus while you are doing this you can order beers and get drunk. In addition beer massages, beer cocktails and all other kinds of beer fun can be had. Beer has many restorative properties and should be treated on a par with other fine products like mud baths, cucumber eye patches and molten mercury baths. So get to the Czech republic and get a beer bath!

Cow abductions

Alien cow abduction is a 'serious problem' and should be taken very seriously by heading over to the Cow abduction site. Cows are often taken and never return and your bovine friend could be next. Cows are nowhere near as cool as monkeys but people have become quite upset that their cows are just disappearing. I mean seriously people this is a kind of lame site but maybe it can go somewhere with your support.

Thanks Rants in your pants!

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Followup - Aus internet censorship

There was always going to be much discussion on the internets about the new proposal from the labor party and so far none of it appears to be blocked but here is an interesting article on why Net filters will never work. Basically its due to the will of the people!! Once people are aware of the potential banning technologies they will always work to subvert them. Any kind of filter would require constant maintenance and would inevitably be defeated by the intelligence of IT nerds around the world who would work to overcome it. So save your energy and your money and don't install the filter.

Telephone Boxing

I'm not quite sure what is going on here, but suffice to say that some Japanese guy didn't particularly like mobile phones so decided to create an artwork called telephone boxing. So instead of it being easy to make calls and send sms' it instead becomes a physical challenge where you must box your way to the call. Its an interesting concept and also creates music when you dial so just go and read the site because I'm not explaining it very well here.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Australian internet censorship!!!@!@

I dunno how many of you have heard about this fine proposal by the labor party here in Aus to regulate the internet. They plan on actually blocking sites that contain violent and pornographic material. Hang on, this sounds very similar to what has been going on in the middle east and china over the last few years as the internet is gradually blocked so that soon all you'll be able to do is access your government's published newspaper. This is enough of a reason for me not to vote labor next election its just a shame that all the other parties are just as bad.

Wine Pod

Remember when I took that home wine making course and forgot how to drive. Well now you too can enjoy all the benefits of making your own wine. Just head down to the local shop buy a few hundred kilos of grapes, use the magic fermenter, and soon you'll have plenty of fine fine wine for drinking. Actually you might very well make yourself go blind, but if you can cut out all the middlemen I'm all for it.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Solid Gold Rocket Motorbike

My dream has always been to own a solid gold rocket car. Unfortunately, such a car does not exist instead all I can get is this gold motorcycle. Sure I said in the header that it was rocket powered, but that was all jsut to sucker you in to reading this foolish post. I wish it was rocket powered, maybe that guy who made the rocket VW and this bike guy could get together to make me a solid gold rocket motorbike. Awesome dudes.

Flying Car MkII

As the evidence continues to mount that someone in Perth is driving around in a flying car, I'm left wondering what type of technology it uses. Maybe those anti-grav drives are a lot more advanced than I thought they were. Maybe the car is actually on stilts and you cna't quite make them out from a satellite image. Whatever it is the next flying car sure makes for some interesting thinking. Maybe its actually an alien car and its filled with gold, who knows, but what I do know is that I've gotta get me one of these.


Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Foosball Star

I always knew I was destined for greatness on the football field. No other player has had such a meteoric rise captured so succintly on this site. You too can enter your name and end up with your very own football career! Maybe you'll score 8,000 goals and win la liga single handedly. Maybe you'll wind up with heart conditions brought on by too many steroids. Or maybe this thing is exactly like my real indoor soccer career... freaky.

You are tools

Sorry about the lack of updates, I've been off fighting aliens on a faraway planet. I know it sounds like a movie, but its true. Well long long ago, around June 2004 in fact I blogged about Tool's new album. Well since they spent they last two years smoking cones and working on the video clips they have been unable to release the album. Well now finally on May 2 tool might have a new album. I'm not believing it until the album is in my hot little hand but the official website confirms my suspicions. Plus as an added bonus they will be heading to Australia as part of the tour. I won't reveal my sources on this one but suffice to say its highly reputable.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

George W Girls

George W makes an excellent lady as seen in this excellent gallery. His stylings are both unique and entertaining. So head on over the W Girls the site that makes GW into everything he ever wanted to be. He can sing, act and most of all stare aimlessly off into space. Enjoy!

Mmmm, sexy

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Scanner Cameras

Here is a cool idea for creating your own digital camera! Rather than buying those fancy store bought cameras you can in fact use a flatbed Scanner to make a camera. One of the best features (or strangest things about) these types of cameras is that motion is captured as a form of distortion rather than as a blur (as in a traditional camera). This makes for some quite weird and freaky images as well as providing an opportunity for some fun with motion. The process of constructing your own scanner camera is also relatively easy so get out the cardboard and rip apart that funky new digital camera for the lens, add in a cheap scanner and you're set.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Cool Robots

As the monkeys are generally too busy falling asleep and scratching their butts I need a new army of subservient creatures to do my bidding. Most actual life forms are too lazy and unpredictable to be much use which is whereRobonova comes in. This little feller comes in a kit and you can assemble him yourself. Plus it comes with some really easy* software that enables you to program him to do your bidding. Some of the awesome moves he can complete include "Backward Walk", "Left Tumbling" and the very stylish "Sit Down and Right Punch". Looks pretty cool.

*The software may actually be really difficult to use.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Water on the moon

No, not the kind of water that was found on Mars but real water on the moon. Ok, its not our moon, but one of Saturn's, but that doesn't matter. The simple fact of the matter is that there are geysers of Liquid Water on Enceladus. This water could potentially be filled with new lifeforms, mainly bacteria and viruses and crap. But these little suckers could hold the key to the universe, or a whole world of new drugs, or could potentially be a bunch of genetic super creatures that will soon take over the world. Either way, I'm going to be there with a camera and a bunch of autographed copies of Kelly Osborne's latest album. This will surely cause the aliens to lose control of their brains and collapse.

This whole water on Mars thing is soooooo true, look at that image.
Water on Mars

Here's to Beer

This site has to be one of the most comprehensive beer sites on the web. There's nothing finer than a quiet glass of ale on a Monday morning so why not head over to "Here's to Beer" to find out why beer is such a sensational invention. Supposedly it comes from the beer institute, which would be an awesome place to work. Imagine, every day spent investigating beer of all different types. There's history, brewing techniques and all kinds of stuff, plus some cool quotes like "In Fairbanks, Alaska, it is illegal to give beer to a moose". I'm not sure why you'd be giving beer to a moose rather than drinking it yourself, but consider yourself warned.

Via Presurfer

Friday, March 10, 2006

Double Guitars

You know those guitars that are like double guitars. Well this guy isn't using them, but what he is doing in playing the mario theme music on two guitars at the same time. Its a fair feat of guitar playing skill and suffers from none of the randomness associated with those double guitars. I just can't stop mentioning those double guitars, in fact I wish I was playing one right now. Wait, wait, I've got an even better idea, triple guitars. They'd rule, think of how easily you could strike up a tune with three sets of strings. Gold, I say. Patent pending, patent pending, patent pending.

UMPCs

Who knows what it stands for, is it possible it doesn't stand for anything? I dunno, but I do hate these gadget sites that explained an acronymn in one post about 6 months ago and then expect you to know exactly what it means from that point onwards. Anyway there are three of these new UMPCs out and I already had a big discussion with Patrick about how pointless they are. Basically its an ultraportable laptop, without a keyboard (except for onscreen touch typing) running some h@cked down version of windows. Plus you can use it as a multimedia player. Hey screw you stupid companies, how bout I take my 1000 euros and buy a laptop that would run twice as fast and have three times the functionality. Stupid jerks, I mean look at that touch typing how crappy would it be.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Sawed-Off Shotgun on Space Station

Since this is a slow web day I'll post this link to this strange story regarding a sawn-off shotgun on the space station. Basically they claim its so that when the cosmonauts and astronauts have to ditch the station and come back to earth they can fight off wolves and bears and stuff. What a crock, this thing is clearly being used to fight off aliens from a far away planet or to open difficult cans of beans. Either way I reckon that at some point some drunken american is going to accidently kill someone with it.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Rocket Car

This "street legal" rocket car is actually a VW beetle that some engineer decided to attach a rocket engine to. Its way more convincing than that story earlier today about those ape men. Despite the fact that this is just some guys bodgy webpage it remains clear to me that rocket cars are the transportation of the future. Look at that thing, I mean who wouldn't want to fill it up with some jet fuel and let it loose, especially if some punk 17 year old was tailgating yo ass.

Go Rocket Car, Go!

Ape Family!

Aaaah, there really are Ape Men! According to some high quality research there is this whole family that due to some weird genetic trait has unevolved to walking around on all four limbs at all times. They are like meercats and can only stand for short periods of time. You know what, I bet this is one of those internet hoaxes, some fool somewhere went "I bet you can't convince the world that there are ape people out there" and some other fool went "You know what, I bet I can by making people walk around on all fours". The internet is filled with this type of crapola, and I'm waiting for some hard evidence that these people actually exist. Sure, this other site has a backwards evolution theory and a video but who the hell has every heard of "World Science". I'm willing to be proven wrong, but until that point, you are all crazy.

Fake ape man?  You decide.

Thanks Patrick!

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Simpson's Idea Stolen

You remember that Simpson's episode where Herb builds that baby translator and makes millions. Well some genius stole the idea for a baby translator and turned it into an actual product with a really ugly webpage. For $150 though I'd hope that it would be able to provide more than 5 translations. Any fool can do that, it should be able to translate thousands of phrases into 18 different languages including Klingon. Oh well I guess if you've got cash to waste and a new baby you might get one of these.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Flying Cars Rule

If you were as L337 as this guy, you would've already made 18 flying cars and cured cancer. But no, instead you're sitting around looking up people's blogs on the net. Well maybe we could all be flying round in flying cars if the world's creative potential was put to better use instead of being used to fuel more McHappy meal toys. So come on people support this guy and his wacky inventions by buying some of this cool stuff and then kill yourself while trying to fly into orbit. Genius they cried! I'll never have to eat spam again!

Friday, March 03, 2006

Anagram of Sydney Rail Map

For those that haven't been following there are a bunch of these anagram maps of various train networks all over the world. Boing Boing has been keeping track of a whole bunch of them if anyone is super interested. I was mainly keen to see a Sydney Rail anagram map developed because its the only network I actually know well enough to make it interesting. Anyway, I'm heading out to Menial Pus to catch a look at the mountains.

Oh yeah, you can compare it to the real cityrail map here and see what the hell I was talking about.

Flying Death Bot

Allright, recently this blog has become far too namby pamby, filled with all kinds of frilly crap. Well its time to get back to some serious weaponry. Like this Flying Death Bot. They took a crazy autonomous helicopter and loaded it up with a shotgun. Now this is exactly the kind of home style development that I recommend for ages 4 and up in the backyard. You take a helicopter kit and develop some cool autonomous weaponry, then you sell it to the US military for a huge profit and buy your own recording studio. It's every kids dream and soon you will be able to smite your enemies from above with shotgun power.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

International Ginger Kids

Well I recognise the need for more awareness of the special nees of Ginger Kids and I'm proud to be a supporter of their fine foundation. Remember the mission
..."The mission of the IGKF is to achieve equality, understanding, tolerance, and acceptance for Ginger Kids all over the world. Although we hope to one day find a cure for Gingervitis, we will strive to teach the world about this disease; and make the world a better place for Ginger Kids until then."

Now remember, Ginger Kids is a disease and the only way to be sure is to nuke them from orbit.

Thanks Mark!