Robots for grenading your opponents

Hey everybody! You all love robots that can blow the crap out of stuff right? Well enter the grenade bot which can fire a whole heap of grenades at a ridiculously high speed to ensure that your opponents are dead long before you have to rouse yourself off the couch. Plus they mention a million rounds/minute gun. Now thats just plain insane, I mean what the hell could you kill with a million rounds a minute thats just plain stupid.

Gumball 3000

Hmmm I wonder if blogger has decided to work, yesterday it decided to stop accepting posts so maybe today will work a lot better. Anyway back to my own pathetic ramblings....

Hey do you all remember the cannonball run? Those dodgy movies from the 80s about a madcap adventure across America, well now enter the Gumball 3000. A madcap event (not a race as clearly spelled out in the rules, uh huh) that involves trekking across europe in a variety of supercars. The event has attracted a number of celebrities and all kinds of wackiness and the website is one of the more interesting designs that I've seen despite all the flash. I wish I could enter in that electric supercar from yesterday, it'd be one drunken death trip.

Thanks Michael!

Electric Supercar

Thats it, this is the last time I attempt this post about the crazy Venturi fetish. A completely electric super sports car. Priced at 450000 euro and capable of going from 0-100 in 4.5secs, the car looks pretty stylish and really would kick some ass. The car also reminded me of these electric bikes that supposedly were having difficulty because people couldn't hear them coming and they were too quiet. Stupid blogger make me write out this crap a couple of times and waste all my valuable drinking time.

Fake bathroom attendant

I like stories about pranks and people doing stupid things to large corporations so this story about a fake bathroom attendant in McDonalds. The setup involves getting someone in a tux to pretend to be a bathrrom attendant at a large maccas, just to see what occurs. These kinds of stories are pretty interesting because they are not so obviously fake that someone wouldn't believe it. So its quite an interesting read.

Flavoured whisky, what the hell's with that?

So flavoured vodka has been around for a while and everybody enjoys their favourite smirnoff filled with blueberries and chilli but what about flavoured whisky? It sounds a little strange to me, I mean shisky is already filled with old shoe and cuban cigar smoke so why would anyone want to add more flavour. I think its just a ploy to get more weiners drinking whisky! I mean the stuff tastes good as it is but nooooooo they want to pump it up with even more sugar and fake cancer causing chemicals rather than letting you enjoy the smooth flavours all on their own.

Coins are fun

A whole bunch of people like to twiddle things in their fingers when they're bored but this site takes it to plain ridiculous and skillful levels. Coin Manipulation is a masterful art that takes many years on the dole to perfect. After days spent juggling your last three 20c pieces you'll soon be a master of some fine tricks. But don't listen to me!! Check out the site fools.

Strange Games

I thought I'd post a couple of mildly amusing webgames to keep all you suckaz interested over the easter weekend. I'm not promising any quality here, this one appears to be some kind of japanese version of the penguin games. It didn't really make much sense. In this one you get to throw rocks at boys. Thanks Ingrid for that marvellous contribution which wasted 5 minutes of my time. So enjoy people, these games suck so you'll probably realise after 7 minutes that it'd be better if you went outside and did some real exercise or something.

Comedy writes itself

In a lesson to all DEA agents and anyone handling a weapons safety talk do not shoot yourself. Some genius was giving a demonstration of wepaons safety and while waving the gun around supposedly shot himself. There are links to the video of it happening so watch and learn an important lesson in gun safety.

In competition for strangest headline yet "NASA asks: Was Einstein a space alien?"

Its actually quite an interesting little article but it doesn't really question whether Einstein is a space alien? Instead it goes on to talk about how remarkable it is that he prodouced 5 outstanding papers within one year and all kinds of other crap. Here I was hoping for some secret revelation that Einstein had interbred with aliens and was controlled by the secretive molemen who worship the power of timecube.

Snake Robots are out to get us

This pretty cool snake robot might be more practical (in some ways) than a lot of other robots because it can at least go over and around terrain without too much difficulty. The only problem is what the hell can you do with it once it gets there, I guess you could attach cameras and all kinds of other crap for surveys of difficult to get to places. Or you could just let it loose around the house to terrorise the cat any small children in the area.

Stupid Dangerous Vehicles

Its been a while since I've spotted a stupid vehicle thats guaranteed to cause a wide variety of injuries. But now a new contender has entered the fray, the Rollercycle. Its a stupid name for an even stupidier product. A tiny petrol engine is attached to a wheel and you basically strap this thing to your ass while rollerblading so you can go faster. Pure genius I say, for one its sure to make you super unstable meanwhile while increasing your speed. I'm just waiting for all the reports of broken arms and legs.

Racing Pirates

Pirates of the Caribbean was one of the better hollywood movies of the last couple of years and as with all things they've got to ruin it by going on and making a sequel. To promote the sequel however they are entering a pirate ship in the great ocean race. You know that huge round the world yacht race that the mega rich can get involved in and get given volvo cars for being a part of?

Elephant Soccer

Dino passes to Roberto and he scores!!!!!! goooooaaaaalllll! No wait this is some seriously crazy stuff, I mean I know elephants are smart but playing the world game and without a care in the world. Did anyone notice the similarities between the elephant and Wayne Rooney? The large ears, the lack of an accurate pass and a complete disregard for the rules of the game, maybe this is where Wayne Rooney learned to play. Anyway here are the elephants playing soccer.

Thanks Dan

Real Gran turismo

So you want to see how a formula 1 would actually go against a couple of street cars? The street cars have a 70 sec start and it turns into quite an interesting race. See here for all the action!

Futuristic Polymer screens

I'm sure most of you remember reading sci-fi novels where the computers where everywhere and could be rolled up like paper and thrown out because they only cost $2 each. Well the future is closer than you think with this polymer vision company already producing a range of roll up screens. Check out the video at the bottom of this downloads page to see one in action. They seem to be only b&w at the moment but I'm sure that'll change.

Thanks Gizmodo

Chinglish

Back again with more foolish links, everyone remembers Engrish well now there is also Chinglish. Its the same basic idea bad writing on products and things from a foreign country generally in an amusing manner.

Proof of your alcoholism

So you were pondering if you're an alcoholic, wondering if drinking a case of beer and a quart of whisky each night qualifies you as a drunken hobo. Well wait no longer because trusty scientists have discovered the gene for alcoholism. Thats all well and good, and maybe you'll now be able to abort that baby that would drink more than its own weight in booze each night but what if you are drinking all the time and don't have the gene. What then?? Are you not an alcoholic because you don't have the gene. Well I don't know the answers to these questions but maybe a few beers would help clear my muddled head.

Your very own time machine!

Struggling to escape the dull 00s, want to live in the year 8000 on a city on the moon. Well this is the time machine for you. Well maybe not the cities on the moon bit, but supposedly it can transport you anywhere in time. Looks like a slow friday afternoon if I'm posting about time machine auctions that ended days ago. What this blog needs is some tequila shots and red bull. That'll get this party started.

Via J-Walk blog

Allllright 6 legged walking death machine

Although originally designed for logging and forestry work this six legged robot would kick ass in a variety of situations. There are videos of it walking plus I reckon you could mount a hell of a lot of weapons on that sucker for your next attempt to try to take over the world. Its all controlled by a simple joystick and a super computer to ensure it doesn't fall over. I reckon its pretty cool but the legs would be a bit of a weakness in a combat situation, remember starwars people, all it would take is one guy with a wire to take these things down.

Magic Clock = Waste of Time

So some genius's in Cambridge UK have invented a clock that can pinpoint where a person is. Hang on the more I read about this the more full of crap it is, first of all it can only 'pin-point' the location to somewhere predefined like work or school or at the crack house or something. If its using GPS why can't it provide an actual map linked to an online map service or something. That'd keep those kids off the gutter and out of the brothels. But wait its got to be even stupidier becasue whoever you put it on has gotta be carrying the GPS thingee in the first place. Never fear it gets crapper yet, the clock is supposedly only in a conceptual stage and hasn't even been designed or is anywhere close to being built yet. Stupid news providing news that isn't even news, if you want to read about the world's worst clock then go ahead. Its your funeral, but it made me waste 5 minutes of my life.

Google fun

I thought I'd blog the google homepage, you know just for a bit of amusement and to point it out to everybody who's never seen it before. Nah screw that the real reason is, if you go to Google type in miserable failure and hit the I'm feeling lucky button you get a miserable failure of the biggest kind! Try it yourself and see.

Dutch Lover Boys Immune to HIV

In an amazing story researchers have undercovered some startling news that 10% of the population of Europe is immune to HIV. This immunity was probably caused by Europe either being exposed to smallpox or the plague in their genetic history. Leaving aside stories about dutch lover boys and how 10% of them will now be guaranteed HIV free this is actually pretty interesting and may lead to the development of a class of drugs that somehow uses this facility to block ye olde HIV.

Lego Death Star

Coming soon to a universe near you is the Lego Death Star. It looks pretty crummy to me actually and follows the modern lego trend of having really big chunky pieces that you can put together in about 5 minutes. Stupid lego, what happened to the ships made out of millions of small pieces so that small children could easily choke on them. Not everybody wants duplo you know.

Monkey Videos

Here are 3 amusing monkey videos that show real hard-working monkeys. Actually it reminds me of my office and pretty much every other office I've ever seen. Kind of amusing and the videos ain't too big so get downloading. Here they are #1, #2 and #3. Aaaaah monkeys, is there anything funnier? I think not.

Beer cures cancer!

Following last weeks news that beer had less calories than wine or orange juice comes the stunning news that beer cures cancer! Well helps prevent it anyway. Is there anything this wonder drink can't do. I mean it makes me drunk, its cheap, its readily available, it cures cancer, it helps me lose weight and it tastes good. No other product has ever come close, in fact I might go get a beer right now. mmmmm beer.

Next-generation robot

Although it really just sounds like a talking computer it supposedly is super realistic and a lot of people have been confused by these robots into thinking that they are real humans! I don't know really to believe it or not but they can speak a bunch of languages, read your mind and dance the congo while drinking 400 shots of bourbon.

Beer not fattening, in other news the pope is jewish

So there was some "study" done that shows that beer has less calories than orange juice, milk or wine so it shouldn't really make you fat. Well what the "genius's" who did the study forgot to mention was that you don't normally drink 12 pints of orange juice in a 60 minute binge. Yeah sure maybe 1 beer is marginally better for you than 1 glass of orange juice but come on people you can't really claim that your beer gut is caused by all those late night kebabs, can you?

Arm Wrestling Robots Suck Ass

So much hype, these would be the future of real gaming, a robot that you can arm wrestle. Actually there used to be a pov old one that I remember from some arcade many years gone by but that used motors. This one uses plastic muscles!! This gives hope to all of us that soon you'll be able to enhance your body by filling yourself up with plastic and bench pressing 8000 pounds. Think of the possibilities, you could leap high buildings in a single bound and do other stuff. Yeah cool.

mmmm 700 horsepower bike

They so should introduce motorbikes into GT, that would just kick ass. But anyway back to the real world, where some genius has got himself a hayabusa and pumped up the horsepower to 700 or something ridiculous. So if you want to see an article about the records then look here. What I don't get is, if you had a 700 horsepower bike how in the hell would you ride it. I mean it would be constant wheel spin and you would be up on one wheel permanently.

Singing Guy

I'm not really sure what to say about this, maybe the guy really just likes dance music. Maybe he is a freak and a rebel without a cause or maybe he is just a freak. Whatever he is, he certainly gets involved in this crazy song and provides much amusement.

Thanks Chubb!

Singhsons

Thanks Lance for pointing this out again, I saw it a while back and was interested in subscribing to their newsletter or magazine. What the hell am I talking about you may ask, in fact what the hell are the Singhsons. Well they're everybodies favourite family except indian. Well its just the opening credits of the Simpsons but its all indian and quite funny at that.

How to skip work

I mean everyone chucks a sickie right? I mean at some point in any work career you decided that hell I'm not going in today, I've got better things to do, well this website comes up with some tricks of the trade on how to avoid work. Plus on their site there are a whole bunch of other "How to" guides, including how to fake your own death etc. Mildly interesting for a little while if you are cruising the interweb looking for amusement.

Via J-Walk Blog

Hobos or Hoboes

Is more than one hobo known as hoboes or hobos? What exactly is a faded bogey? Why would someone want to frisk a drag?? These answers and many more can be found at the hobo dictionary. I'm still a little confused look at this "a gonsil - a youth not yet adopted by a jocker". What the hell is a jocker? So I look up jocker and its "a) an experienced hobo who taught minors that way of life b) the relationship was often sexual". Cool man, I'm gonna start using these words in everyday conversation, I mean take a look at this fine sentence I created.

You could catch a jolt if you're a jocker caught in Mickeyville with a gonser monkey chaser.

Bam! Take that, I so would've made the best hobo.

VR Fishing

Now don't get me wrong, fishing is great. Sitting around for hours on end not catching anything and drinking a bucket load of beer. Then passing out in your boat which mysteriously powers you out into the deep pacific where you are attacked by a random bunch of sharks wearing sombreros only to wash up on your own island filled with coconuts and attractive women serving pina coladas. Well skip all the second part of the story and you get the VR fishing game. Basically it seems to involve you sitting around in your basement, pretending to catch fish. I guess you could still have the beer but this is just plain stupid. You don't catch anything (well that normally happens anyway) and you don't get sunburnt and drunk. Look at the other crap this company has got and you'll soon realise its only for the mega rich who are scared of leaving their own loungeroom.

33 Hour Comedy Rampage

A freak comedian is planning a unique 33 hour comedy epic! To be seen at the Edinburgh Fringe festival the comedy epic will go through each year in the history of the earth since the birth of christ. I'm not really sure how this will be accomplished but supposedly the guy has done it all before. Last year he completed a 24 comedy marathon which concluded with him proposing to his girlfriend. Personally I think the comedy is going to get a little stale after the first hour or two, I mean seriously he can't have that much original material.

A pool cue even robots would love

Robots and pool together at last! The pool cue itself has a revolutionary soft tip that means that you can't fuck up your shot by putting the wrong spin on it or something. Sounds pretty crap to me, I mean how are you supposed to get maximum spin with a bent tip. But the much cooler thing was that they got a robot that plays pool. With scientists working on this type of technology the future of mankind looks very bright indeed, soon your robo soccer team can play for you while your robo pool player wins the trophy and you sit on the couch absorbing alcohol without liquid. Sweet.

Gatling Gun Destruction

This is a pretty amazing and scary video showing what can be achieved from an attack helicopter with a gatling gun. If you think hiding in your car will save you think again and look at the ridiculous amount of destruction that can be wreaked with these weapons. I hate to think of the carnage that more powerful weapons can cause because this is ridiculous enough. The video is about 5Mb and runs about 3 min so beware if you don't have broadband.

Thanks Chubb!

Mullets Rule

In an attempt to escape from the continual pictures of supercars I've decided to return to everybodies favourite hobby, mullets. Now there is nothing finer than a high quality mullet and I can't remember if I've linked here before but I'll do it anyway. Rate my mullet is the finest mullet website on the web, showcasing the best and boldest in the world of mullets and you can look at and vote on a wide variety of mullets. A new thing since last time I look appears to be comments from the mullet holders themselves. I'm picking that they're all made up but who cares its the mullets that are king!

Koenigsegg Sets Production Car Speed Record

I seem to be gradually becoming more and more obsessed with ridiculous super cars and until recently I didn't even know what the hell a Koenigsegg is. They are a Swedish supercar manufacturer designed to test and break all kinds of limits and today they broke the world speed record for a production car. Hitting 388kmh the 'standard' Koenigsegg CCR kicks some serious ass. Take a look at the website if you don't believe me and dream of one day driving your own supercar at nearly 400kmh through a field of poppies while listening to black metal.

Walkman Phone

I know there have been a bunch of phones around that have played mp3s but none of them have come with the official sony walkman seal of approval or some crap. All I know is that the W800 is coming ever closer to my dream of a mega device that plays music and movies, takes photos and videos, handles calls and functions as an organiser. No this phone can't do all that but it can do some of them. So see for yourself the new Walkman Phone and ponder why it isn't fuel cell powered and can't help you fly.

4 door family porsche

I dunno what to think about Porsche releasing a variety of models that are not pure sports car. On one hand you'd think that a company that prides itself on performance would be unwilling to compromise, on the other hand they do need to make cash and tapping into different markets is a good way to do that. Anyway looks like they are releasing a 4 door sedan sometime later this decade. It'll still have ridiculous performance but goddam it just won't quite be the same. I know they already released a 4wd, but I have blocked that from my memory.

Invisibility Cloak

Coming soon to a thief near you is the invisiblity cloak. According to one of the scientists behind the cloak it "does not obviously violate any of the laws of physics". By using advanced bendy holdy technology all light is effectively captured in the cloak rendering it invisible to the naked eye. Previous attempts to make stealth cars and tanks and other crap have failed miserably because they don't work from all angles or are just crap. This technology overcomes all this, unless you read further into the article and discover that it has to be specifically designed for each thing you want to hide, it only works during daylight and can only hide very small things.

Beeping Soccer Ball

There have always been controversial calls in sport, like that time I punched the ref in the face and he sent me off and then I punched the linesman on the way off. I never should've been singled out for shooting the opposition goalie in the first place, he was dissin' my home boys. In an attempt to stop blatantly unfair calls like this they are now introducing a soccer ball that beeps when it crosses the goal line. Actually it wont stop that kind of violence but maybe it will stop them missing goals in important matches that leads to Man U actually winning a game. Supposedly the beep is transmitted to the ref so he can tell when a goal is scored. Good idea but when are they going to introduce swords to increase the excitment level at international soccer?