Galvanize or Die

The chemical brothers most recent album has been one of the funkiest and best albums of the last 12 months or so and now they have got a fine(?) game for your galvanizing pleasure. I'm not really sure how it all works as I didn't bother reading the instructions but maybe someone can point out how I can kill all the aliens and galvanize myself against the evil. Plus you get to push the button, so what more could you want.

Office Humour

No this isn't dilbert, but some site that has supposed real comments that were Overheard in the Office. Some of them are pretty amusing and seemingly applicable regardless of the location of the office. If you don't work in an office than too bad, you'll have to find your sex farm humour elsewhere. I especially enjoyed this one...

Co-worker #1: Hey, do we need to dress up when the Japs show up next week?
Boss: Don't ever refer to them as Japs! That's racist and very offensive. Please refer to them as Japanese instead.
Co-worker #2: Hey, while we're being all culturally sensitive and shit, can I show up to work dressed as a ninja to welcome them to America

Google Map Hack

We're back, with some interesting fun for your thursday morning. This is a pretty neat hack that lets you see the distance you have travelled using google maps. Its called the Gmap pedometer and it can work out approximately how far you have travelled on your next drunken bar crawl, or as a useful bit of trivia you could see how many k's you had to walk to write your name in 800 metre high letters in a piece of unused countryside. Or you could be boring and just see how many k's you've walked or run on your morning heart starter. Still its pretty neat and it accurately determined that there is about 300 metres from my place to the pub.

Buy Swords

I've been looking for a good sword shop for a while. Somewhere I could wander in and pick up some bargain kitanas and full blown broadswords. Well have a browse through The Armory and find out just how much of a Role Playing freak you could be with this collection of swords and armour. Hand forged suits of armour go for about $5K, which is pretty expensive, but could be worth it to protect yourself in your next medieval jousting competition. I really want one of these Naginatas though, it just looks so damn cool.

IPOD DJ BJ MIX@

So you want to get your 32Kbps mp3s pumping out some serious distortion? You wanna mix your illegally downloaded collection of KLF albums with Mariah Carey to see if you can be the next star? Well finally, a product that will add the craptacular sounds of two ipods together into one bass pumpin unit. The thing with ipod mixing (I can't hink of a better way to describe it) costs more than the the two ipods needed to run it and doesn't include a collection of phat beats to add into the mix. Still if you chumped up the recording rate on your mp3s you might be able to get some decent sound out of it, you never know.

MR2 (rocket powered)

Dammit I missed this auction for a toyota MR2. The small somewhat cool mid-engined sportscar from toyota. But $20K seems like an awful lot for a car that has probably seen better days. No, wait its fitted with a couple of rocket engines to make a true rocket car. Supposedly it can get up near 200mph, but what really gets me is the cool rockets hanging out the back, sweeeeet.

God is evil

How can anyone hate shrimps?? They are so tasty, let alone the fact that god hates them. In fact it turns out that a god actually hates a whole bunch of stuff including Figs, Globes, Bacon and a whole bunch of other stuff. Actually according to this search god hates 112 things. Well, has websites that claim to hate things anyway. Go on, go through the list and see if god is really out to get Germania

Thanks Mike!

Ask David Hasselhoff

I think I've blogged this Hoff site before but I can't remember so I'm putting it up again. Plus it includes the bonus Ask David Hasselhoff where you can ask him all kinds of questions. What's really got me is how this blog is gradually turning into a Hoff collection of stuff despite my best attempts to stop it happening. Thats it from now on I'll only be blogging about serious issues, like monkeys and cool new cars and weapons and stuff. Yeah. Oh and don't forget to log off windows before you leave.

Thanks Adam and Ingi!

Harry potter ending

All this hype about a dodgy children's book that really isn't that well written makes me annoyed. I mean seriously this is the sixth book on the series, I read the first four but then realised I'd read a bucket load of books that were better and more interesting and pitched at an 8 year old level than this stuff. Suffice to say I think the books are way overrated and if anyone would care to disagree all complaints can be directed to "Carefactor 0, 666 Satan street". So here is an amusing little video that ruins theHarry Potter ending outside the launch it some dodgy american town. Gooooo Team!

Turbo Beer

Mmmm beer travelling at nearly the speed of light. Well maybe thats not strictly accurate but the beer can be poured significantly faster than current beers and improves keg yield by 30%. I really don't get the keg yield thing, I mean a keg holds like 50 litres right, so how can you get 30% more out of keg than currently. It just doesn't make any sense captain. Still if the Turbo Beer tap actually does what it says you'll soon be sucking down those premium lagers in a lot less time and thats gotta be a good thing.

Insane at Quarters

I'm sure you remember quarters. The old drinking game where you have to bounce coins off the table into a shot glass or something else causing other people to get ridiculously drunk. Now I spent many hours honing my quarters sk1lls, until I became an L337 H@X0R. But I'd have nothing on this guy, he seems to have spent so many hours doing nothing but getting drunk and practicing bouncing coins that he has become some kind of Quarters God. Sorry about all the videos but I've been amazed a couple of times today.

Via J-Walk Blog

The Dolmette

Some may question why anybody would want to make a motorbike powered by 24 chainsaw motors. Others will simply praise the creator as a genius of impeccable quality whose ideas will live throughout the centuries because of their motto "I'm an idiot and I want to make crap that is completely impracticle". There are a couple of moofies there so get downloading and see the bike in all its glory.

We're Back

We're back, with all news thats new and improved. Sorry about the temporary delays as I fought off the mexican fighting beetles, but it took time to organise a controlled thermo nuclear explosion outside my desk so that all the beetles are unfortunately destroyed by my collection of vintage postage stamps was left unharmed.

Before I actually post some real content here are some hoff pics to keep you amused in the short term. (Thanks Ingi!)

Updates, what??!!!!

Sorry about the lack of updates people, sometimes you just get so snowed under by a deluge of mexican fighting beetles that it takes you days to recover. Unfortunately the beetles are still attacking so updates may be somewhat sporadic over the next week or so while I consolidate my defences. Anyway here is a link to some interesting Carny Lingo that I blatantly stole from BoingBoing. It'll keep you amused for the next five minutes while I figure out someway to barricade against these damn beetles.

Rocketplane needs you!

I dream of the day when cheap commercial spaceflight will mean that all of us ordinary hobos can escape for a spot of moon tennis or some late night party action in the alpha centurai system. Well the first step is to start a company that will offer people the chance for a trip into sub orbital space and thats exactly what Rocketplane did. You can purchase a trip into 'space' and be amongst the first space tourists. Sure you could strap a rocket to your ass and maybe make it into space but this seems like a much safer proposition. As an added bonus for only $25 extra you get a dodgy plaque and photo, well not really but you get the idea.

Edible Meat

Most of the meat I buy is edible, except for the occasional rancid cow I buy down at the old abattoir on a lazy Sunday afternoon. Well it turns out that my trips down to the 'toir (as I affectionately call it) may soon be a thing of the past. Scientists are already working on meat that can be grown completely in the lab. I call it LabMeat (tm) and supposedly it will be safer than ordinary meat with all the flavour. I dunno about you but there is a lot of variation in meat and that is part of the attraction. If every steak and every chicken breast tasted exactly the same it'd get kind of uninteresting after a while.


Soon we could all be eating tasty koala meat generated in ye olde lab.

Via J-Walk Blog

Live Plasma

To cut a long story short, I was out yesterday learning how to be a professional race-car driver. No seriously dudes, thats where I was. Pictures to follow soon. So I check my email and Mike B has sent me a link to Music-Map, so I had a look at it and decided that it reminded me of a trusty favourite, Musicplasma. So I went back to the music plasma site and found that it has become liveplasma and now contains music, movies and all kinds of other crap. Plus as an added bonus it includes the "man with two brains" linked to many other Steve Martin comedy gold movies.

As an special extra x2 added bonus here is another fine Hoff image..



Thanks Mike!

Neogentronyx Mech

I've always wanted my own mech, to tuck me in at night and let me crush infidels during the day. Well now I have the opportunity. The )Neogentronyx a huge mech with lots of firepower and a cuddly disposition is up for sale on e-bay. Sure I currently don't have the $35K to buy it myself, but I figured some kind soul out there would be willing to shell out the cash so I can own a cool mech. The mech is 18ft tall and can be fitted with pretty much whatever you want. Personally I'd get some rockets and a few shields and go ahead and take on the world.

Michael Jackson's Favourite Things

Coming at you live and fresh with some downloading amusement for your sleepy Wednesday. Michael Jackson is back with a brand new hit "MJ's Favourite Things". Sure it ain't pretty and it doesn't quite sound like the real jacko but it gave me a smile this morning.

Thanks Ingi!!

Anti-radioactive monkey society

Everyone loves monkeys, they're cute playful and can give you rabies with one simple bite. Well not all monkeys are nice and some of the are just plain evil. Radioactive Monkeys are a clear example of the inherent dangers associated with keeping your own monkeys in that abandoned nuclear power plant round the back of your house. The clearest way to remove this dangerous threat from the world is to join the anti-radioactuve monkey society. The site is clearly still under development by a couple of hobos from the US but I can't find any amazing links on the web today.

Submarine Yacht

The price on this little sucker seems a little high at $80M US, but it would be pretty cool to have your own underwater submarine yacht. Imagine the life you could live, under the sea, travelling around in virtual anonymity. Releasing depth charges wherever you wanted to sink international trade. Looks like its fully equipped with a whole bunch of luxury gadgets along with stuff to actually make the thing go and if you were really an insane madman, you could easily chump the whole thing up with weapons and have some kind of death boat.

Fighting Beetle Warfare

Man, this game is just so much cooler than Hungry Hungry Hippos. In this you get remote controlled beetles and you get them to attack each other until mothran comes in and breaks up the party. At least thats how I interpret this crazy Japanese page. With awesome pincer movement and special death ray facility for that mega fatality these things have got to be one of the coolest ideas ever. If you can find a video of these things, send it to me cause I really wanna see them in action.

Caffeine beer!

So many beer mixes have fallen to the wayside. Who can forget the terrible summer of '97 and the powerbeer fiasco. Sugar beer held limited appeal but what we really needed to improve the already sensational flavour and refreshing nature of beer was something new and exciting. Well enter caffeine beer, a mix of a whole bunch of stuff. Its not really the caffeine that's got me worried, beer always needed something to make you less sleepy, its more the guarana. If you were to drink 10-12 beers on a quiet night out you would also be consuming a bucket load of guarana and flavours and colours. Those things in large quantities can really screw with your heart and internal organs. Still I'd probably give caffeine beer a go, especially if there was a caffeine kebab to go along with it.

Anger management issues

Are you cranky? Do you feel like the whole world is out to get you? Well you too could be a karate kid. This kid is psycho and clearly has been hemped up on a whole lot more than goofballs. His name is Wayne Daglish and he is pretty amazing with a bowstaff. So enjoy this glimpse into the strange world of semi-professional junior martial arts.