Islands in the sun

So another fine scottish day greeted us with plenty of misty rain, but not to be outdone we decided to head to a lake. No, not a loch, a lake, the only one in Scotland, the Lake of Menteith. A short boat ride out to the island found us at Inchmahome Priory. Home to the Augustinian canons. Dammit the canons were really people and they didn't fire them into the lake at travelling band of minstrels. There was a castle on the next island too, but we weren't allowed to visit because the owners decreed it to be so. Still the island must've been a super boring for most of the year and they were only allowed a fire in one room and that's really not that good when the lake freezes over for a couple of months / year.

After some bucketing rain in Aberfoyle which we craftily managed to avoid by eating a giant lunch we went ape. Well, not really because there was a giant queue due to the lightning storm and the guy wasn't so sure whether he could get us on in that afternoon. Bastards, surely it rains every day here so they've gotta have some kind of contingency plan for when it rains. Anyway, that left us free to wander around Queen Elizabeth Forest park in the Trossachs without any kind of direction. Sure we had a map and every single trail through the whole forest was carefully marked, but we could've got lost and had to be rescued by some Scottish Terriers. Luckily the terriers weren't required and we found another castle ruined on the world's smallest island. Literally 5 metres long and about a metre wide, I mean seriously what a giant waste of time. Just look at it people, sure its amazing but there's only a tiny pile of rubble left. Obviously the castle didn't protect the owner from the ravages of time, mu ahhahhahhaha. We also spent a while trying to find Rob Roy's cave, where he hid out from the pirates that were besieging the loch from all sides.

We never found the cave, just a bunch of holes in the ground that didn't appear to lead anywhere. We did find some fake squirrels suspended from the trees in what appears to be a recreation of a battle from starwars where the ewoks take on the stormtroopers. Why its in the middle of a national park in Scotland remains a mystery but I guess that's the magic of the heilans. After such thrills we took a quick look at Loch Katrine, which proved as stunning as the other 15 lochs we'd already seen that day. Then it bucketed down, so it was home and out for a celebratory fine italian dinner followed by some Caol Ila (thanks Jeremy). This is the smokiest whisky I've found yet, intensely strong smoky flavours with a light golden colour. This is definitely one for a cold Scottish evening!

Visitors from the colonies

The recent weekend saw a visit from some colonial Australians. Despite some difficulties understanding their accents it was good to catch up with Jeremy and Sarah again. First stop Wallace Monument and Stirling Bridge. After climbing the 250 odd steps to the top of the monument we had a nifty view of the area directly beneath the monument and the Ochils! Arrch, Ochils so close. They are coming to get us soon. We also got a good view of the local pubs in the area and planned out a route taking in some of the finest local drinking establishments.

This included cat-pub not to be confused with cat face who has a big cat face. He also floats around the town. Well after some beverages we went for some pubbish food and Jeremy tried his first haggis, which proved a reasonably large hit although he was disappointed that he couldn't have the bad boy burger.

The next day dawned at around 1am, well it feels like that at the moment up here, sun goes down around 11pm and it seems to be permanently light. Of course, that doesn't bode well for winter but at least we'll have whisky and haggis to keep us company. We headed back to Stirling castle for a 21 gun salute for the queen's birthday. Now the territorial army could only manage 18 shots because the gun jammed or something. They had two more guns still in perfect working order but called it off right then. Cheapskates.

Afterwards it was the Falkirk wheel, which is a giant ship moving thing that basically raises barges about 70 metres from one canal to another in only a few minutes. Sure, its an impressive engineering feat but really not that exciting as a tourist destination. Oh well, live and learn about the wonders of Scotland, the natural world appears far more interesting than recent engineering feats.

Castles and more castles

Stirling castle has been the scene of many a famous battle, jacobite revolution, musket battle and light sabre fight but why? Well the answer lies in its unique geographic position, nestled on a high hill on a river that traverses the country with solid ground and gentle hills all around. Basically its the only sensible place in historic kinds of times where you could get to northern Scotland. So there was a bridge here and due to some poor tactics on behalf of the English, a bunch of them were massacred by the Scots and William Wallace.

Meanwhile elsewhere in Scotland we took a tour to Balloch and Loch Lomond. Yeah its a large lake filled with fish, drunken scotsmen and boat tours. Still its worth a look and around the forest park nearby is another castle. This one is closed to the public but is actually pretty well preserved. The park was also filled with lots of people using portable bbqs, no, not as we know them but basically little steel grills filled with coals that you buy pre-made from the supermarket and fire up in the park. Meanwhile no one remembers that they might actually burn the grass, table, seat or whatever else they are sitting on. Pure genius I say.

I'm not entirely sure of what to make of this photo, its clearly a normal scottish street scene.
1. Because its raining
2. There's a learner driver in the distance, they are everywhere.
3. There's some local running because he's just made off with some stuff from the local 'offie'

Ah well, its amusing nonetheless.

Sunny Edinburgh

Hah, proved wrong at last Mr Negative Scotland weather. We've now had 6 days in a row of good weather including a trip to Edinburgh for some sightseeing and encounters with chip shop owners. First point of call was the gallery for the slightly disappointing Turner exhibition. I mean it was just a bunch of guys turning handles and had nothing to do with the famous painter at all. What a let down! Well actually it was all about Turner in italy, which was sort of interesting but not the most exciting of his works in my humble opinion.

Meanwhile outside, every person in Edinburgh was getting their yearly vitamin D intake by sitting in the park. Which we attempted to do after Mr Chip Shop lunch. Kathleen had rightly ordered a vegie burger which we were assured contained 'vegatables love'. Little to our knowledge it did not contain a bun or salad or anything else except a deep fried vegie patty and some soggy chips. 'What do you expect love, its just a chip shop' was the defence used by the large Scottish gentleman when queried about his 'burger'. Oh well next time we'll ensure the burger is more than just a pattie. The afternoon's entertainment involved bagpipes and a walk up to Arthur's seat. The bagpipes were being played on the royal mile (as usual) and the walk up to Arthur's seat provided spectacular views of the area directly beneath the hill and of the castle and main town. Kathleen's thongs probably weren't the greatest footwear for the occasion but once at the top it was so worth it. A few beers and dinner in the city followed to round of the best weekend of Scottish weather since 1243 when MacArrrrrgh defeated MacAayye at the battle of Loch Haggis.

The battle of Glencoe vs Fort William - part 3

The final day dawned bright and clear. Well not really, this is Scotland, so it dawned cold and rainy. First stop in the morning was Dunstaffnage Castle, home of the MacDougall clan and site of a castle since the early 13th century. Of course the castle had an abbey attached that had been ruined by the ravages of time and the Scottish weather. Still it was quite an impressive building and could easily have housed a collection of armed men for a period of weeks living off the local grass and the well.

There really is a lot of castles around, I don't think anyone is that surprised, but come on were the Scots always at war? Maybe, I dunno, I just work here.

Anyway, next stop was a stop at Oban for a tour of the whisky distillery. Well that was my plan anyway, but I was let down by a lack of booking. Can't I just show up and go on the damned tour, it appears not. So instead we wandered around searching for another distillery to ease our thirst. But this being Scotland the next place was at least 5 miles away so we were forced to stroll around in the sub-arctic temperatures and cold rain. Sure the town was scenic and maybe the sea fog was amusing but I think we'll be back to Oban for a more thorough viewing next time around.